(Ron Howard voice): ...and Tobias's new job doing closed captioning at Yankee Stadium ended before the game even started.

Jagr: "What is it mean, this concept?"
Brodeur: "Y'know... it means you go both ways."
Jagr: "This seems unnatural to me. This is not the way I was raised."

You'd think if any fans were going to accept more than one woman on the job, it would be the BYU faithful.

Live em and love em....poop stories are the most human and applicable to each and every one of us....DO YOU NOT POOP MAN???....have you not battled a particularly feisty fecal foe?.....LIVE LIFE MAN, TAKE A HEROIC SHAT!!!!

I'm angry at my favorite sport right now (favorite player traded to the worst team in the world?) and I literally just sent this to my friend with a note saying "I might be angry at the Preds but at least I have this to make me laugh out loud and feel emotions that aren't just SADNESS or RAGE anymore."

In conclusion,…

I always skip them. Now I'm skipping a whole column. Although I don't think posting a bunch of other people's letters counts as a column.

It's a remarkable accomplishment for a remarkable young man and a testimony to the incredible advances that technology and modern medicine have made. That being said, I'm still rather unclear about how a guy in his condition will be able to deliver babies.

Fun Fact!

You could have been president. Now look at you.

And in the spirit of that, your comment.

"YGTBFKM"

Sherman: "They about to try me."

As a liberal I found this really helpful. Despite watching football every Sunday since I was 6, I was always too preoccupied with wealth distribution to really grasp the rules. Thanks Fraser.

I certainly admire these men's hard work and long hours, but the capitalist in me just can't find the rationale for donating to their cause. I mean, a couple bucks here, some ice cleats there, suddenly round trip airfare to Russia. Where will it end?

Jeez, who's talking about race? I'm just talking about HUSTLE and MAKING THE MOST OF LIMITED ATHLETICISM.

The use of public funds on sports stadiums and arenas is bad enough, but at least there's a concrete goal

Huh. Those are the exact same results from last week's poll, "Do You Think Louisiana & South Dakota Are Full Of A Bunch Of Half-Wit Jackweeds, Nebraska and Montana Shut Up No One Cares What You Think Anyway, And Just Cram It Already West Virginia?"

Woj's column is heavy on the opinion, but there is one new J.R. story in there. It dates from his time in China, one weekend at a hotel when he ordered $3,000 worth of room service "just to see if they would keep bringing it to the room."

Qatari-English Dictionary

Writers refusing to accept the fact that Deadspin has launched itself into the premier echelons of sports journalism is a refusal to accept the status quo. I only visit ESPN.com for scores. I barely read anything outside of here and Grantland. If people like Peter Gomez think I give a shit about his 2 minute…