including hockey

How far can you punt a football?

Many of the members of the crowd announced as 2,500 came disguised as folding chairs and patches of grass.

what a coincidence, it looks like the attendees had also been dead for a combined 226 years.

He is the anti-Tebow, and I hate how much attention Tebow gets but god damn. I like this kids style.

You clicked on a link that included a mention of a dick. What did you expect? (Also, you posted this comment at 1:33 p.m. Eastern, so either you're a West Coaster or you should eat breakfast earlier.)

Well, it's not like he really had a shot at becoming the biggest dick in his family anyway.

I think I just favorited 7 of your jokes in a row.

Bear walks into a bar, says to the bartender, "Can I get a gin...

The worst part for the bear was that he didn't get to break out his signature pickup line, 'hey baby, what's ursine?'

Stop me if you've heard this one before:

Well of course no one noticed, Tom. It's a gay bar.

"Everyone else had fun so fuck the people who are complaining"

Holy shit, I just wrote almost the exact same thing. Great minds think alike, and I guess ours do too.

"Stop bitching and fuckin adapt."

You must be fick headed. I don't fink you foroughly understand this fread.

F*ck. It's worse than I thought.

a