Seriously like half of the appeal of being famous must be being able to do silly-ass douchebaggery with little or no legal consequences. If I ever get TMZ famous I swear I’m going to take a shit in the middle of a T.G.I. Fridays, just for the life experience.

Really can’t get behind this one. Was it some kind of dog sledding reference? And Divac is from some godawful place in Eastern Europe that probably no longer a viable country, if memory serves, many thousands of miles and a Putin away from Siberia. But I’ve been babysitting nephew so I’m day drinking and I may have…

Manziel definitely has the douchebag down but the fall from shitty Browns QB to coked out guy in the 7-11 parking lot isn’t comparable to Jon Jones. He’s gone from best ever in his sport to this fucking bullshit. This is like Steph Curry developing a taste for bath salts and eating part of DeAndre Jordan’s face during…

Just for fun/schadenfreude, can anyone think of a more talented athlete who has fucked himself up worse? He’s arguably the best MMA fighter in history and he might actually be done early in his prime years through unconscionable douchebaggery. Having trouble thinking of anyone comparable in any other sport. The only…

I have that in aubergine.

Holy God wtf is up with Margary’s hair. He looks like Eraserhead and Dale Earnhardt Jr. procreated.

This is seriously drum corps? It looks like Cirque du Solely recruited a herd of feral Québécois street children.

Go back to Belgium.

Elitist.

The gay bar to church ratio in my neighborhood is approximately 6/1, making for a somewhat different Pokémon experience.

Jimbo Tomsula is a national goddamn treasure. The combination of the words ‘Tomsula’ and ‘bindle’ have gotten me off Celexa.

You’re a towel.

Well to quote Hunter S. Thompson, “If the Queen had balls she’d be a king.” Meaning . . . something. I don’t know.

Sadly no, I seem to be physically incapable of it. The Mexican 37.5% of me is ashamed.

If 20 year old me didn’t assume a BA in Latin American history almost definitely wouldn’t lead to a lifetime of poverty and barrista jobs. Still crossing my fingers that the MA in comparative literature does the trick. I am not a smart person.

Goddamnit. God fucking damn it. God. Damn. It. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

My new favorite team: anyone other than Golden fucking State. I hate those fuckers, I don’t care if it’s irrational. My dearest hope is the Steph Curry wakes up tomorrow with the sudden burning epiphany that all he wants to do for the rest of his life is breed show Corgis and promptly retires. Fuck, they’ll probably…

Esoteric. Nice.

Goddamn, man . . .

This is a worthy and noble use of American military resources and as a voter and occasional taxpayer I approve of this. Make it so