Helen Mirren with a cheeseburger and fries? Kang's pants feel like they got shrunk in the wash! The bottle of urine is a little weird, but that's cool. If Helen Mirren likes to get freaky, I can roll with it.

'I like Doom. He's a strong leader. Not like that Cyclops. What a disaster that guy is.'

My lawn. Off it.

Improvident lackwit!

Kang just loves the fact that there are movies that exist with the titles K-9: P.I. and Fortress II: Re-entry.

Oh yeah, Gerrit Graham is another one who single-handedly saves anything from being 0% appealing.

Kang let out a loud belly laugh when Joe Pesci opened the trunk and started stabbing the guy at the beginning of Goodfellas. There was just something so crazy, slapsticky, over-the-top about it.

Dude, Terrorvision is by no means a good movie, but it's totally a fun, self-aware '80's horror parody made by a bunch of artsy indie people (and probably a tugboat full of cocaine). No movie that features Mary Woronov— in full '80's aerobic gear, no less—can ever be irredeemable.

People like to play up the Edgar Wright debacle, but look at the reverse story: 'Thor 2'. They hired Alan Taylor, a blandly respectable director with a TV pedigree (Game of Thrones) and they got one of their most forgettable movies. So they hired Taika Waititi, an idiosyncratic Aussie comedy director, to shake…

Also, Marvel for the most part hires people like James Gunn based on their specific skill set and then they harness that skill set to the appropriate property in their stable. Fox hires Josh Trank and bans him from the set when they begin to suspect he's making a Josh Trank movie. Or they hire Tim Story, based on… …

And verily, on that day 'tonightly' was thus made a word, and the word was good.

True, I'd rather see Robert Redford or Ian McKellan killing it in a decent superhero movie than headlining a terrible mid-budget indie film. So OK, burn me at the stake if that gets you off.

Well. Done. Son.

I could have thrilled you in Pirates of Penzance!

Phil Simms— Truly one of Steve Ditko's most unnerving character designs

Oh god, THAT ad. Dear Budweiser: I'm not going to drink piss just to protest guys who have waxed mustaches and prefer soccer. Kang's dad is 72, and he doesn't find IPAs strange or threatening.

Why don't you just time-travel to the 2063 Superbowl, when the Bills* utterly destroy the Cowboys?

Will Harris, you are the best, but what about Dancer in the Dark?? That has to be one of Morse's most indelible roles, and one in which he really got to show off his (magnificent) acting chops. And we coulda had a Lars Von Trier story!

Afraid not. Palin's all over developmentallydisabledmilfs-dot-com

Kang hears that Elizabeth Banks is American.