Balancing out Peace (in the bra).

More like a prolapse, amirite?

They call the show “Hollywood Medium” because it’s not well done.

Don’t blame Microsoft. It’s not their fault the tablets are full of spyware.

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

A couple of years ago they were in attendance at an Astros game. They got highlighted on the Kiss Cam. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

He seemed fine and dandy with the whole thing. Like he just decided she was the one and her feelings didn’t count and no one else cared about that either. The poor woman rarely looks anything but miserable.

How can people not find the panda??? It’s so easy!!!

I wonder how many “honey”s and “sweetheart”s are being dropped in this conversation.

First time I ever tried to do the turkey myself I was alone at my mom’s new house, where everyone was supposed to meet for dinner. She had an oven with a pilot light; I had no idea what that meant. Came to with my brother carrying me out of the house to lay on the lawn and my mom doing the same to the dog. Turns out…

I’ll miss the chicken tetrazzini woman

SO THESE CATS JUST ‘HAPPENED’ TO COME ON STAGE AT THAT MOMENT AT THE BIGGEST ECONOMIC SUMMIT THIS YEAR? I’VE SEEN THAT SAME CAT IN A PICTURE TAKEN OUTSIDE THE PENTAGON JUST 3 WEEKS AGO!!!1!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!1!!

When my wife hugs me so tight that I fart, that is known in our house as a Pauley Perrette. I’m glad she’s ok. What a scary event.

I went to Catholic schools with khaki pants as the uniform. There was no hiding the boners. I still have a picture in my head of a kid at the front of class giving a speech with a boner in 8th grade and always think to myself “poor kid”. Middle school was a rough go.

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

Waltz’s Blofeld is really only a couple steps away from Dr. Evil, if that. The movie tries to wink at this by giving Blofeld a white cat who stalks around his office, but I’m not actually sure that’s a wink, and the kitsch is incongruous regardless

All these things and the comments are why I only run if I’m being chased by grizzly bears.

Clearly they made it wrong. A properly made Blizzard should never spill.