You win the internet this morning.

Jude Law is gross.

When you want something you gotta go for it man!!!!

HEY I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB.

THE MAYBE BOX IS TRADITIONALLY CREATED BY THE RECIPIENT OF THE YES/NO QUESTION NOTE. DUH.

Same same same!!!!!!!!!!

WAT??????????

YOU CAN RECYCLE TISSUE BOXES!

I HAVE DONE THIS TOO.

You know, if I was listening to somebody who was telling me that the world was on fire and that they were going to scrap the IRS and the Department of Education, and I wasn't on a subway and they weren't a mentally ill hobo, I would be really fucking insulted.

Ted Cruz speaks for no one but Koch Industries.

I come from a long line of epic tissue blowers, and as much as I make it my life goal not to become my mother, every February I go through a dozen boxes of tissues (although seriously PUFFS 4 lyfe, they are much more durable, and don't turn my nostrils red like I am a coke fiend) and it really, really bothers my…

That is despicable.

Scott Walker is the fucking worst.

I spent $13k on my wedding in 2010, and it was classy. My takeaway from this data: I am a fucking champion.

You can hope all you want, and even drop heavy-handed hints, but somewhere some asshole will buy your child something gross and commercial. We were so thankful we got through Christmas #1 with no Elf on a Shelf. After Christmas #2 one of them is collecting dust in our closet (the woman who purchased it excitedly…

Never heard of it. Is this supposed to be some kind of BFD?

Actually they are abandoning their "liberal" slant, because apparently racist, scare-mongering is more profitable. Sadly.

Neither do I, if I received this in the mail I would have assumed it was a mis-labeled advertisement and it would have been promptly deposited in the trash. Who is this man and why is he so grumpy? Or is he being creepy? He wants to party? With me? He doesn't look like it, and if so, he looks like I'm going to…

Thanks for the quote, is that from the Old Testament, or New?