Is that you, Progressive Liberal?

A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

“Run faster!”

A non-zero population of gay men, straight women, and everything in between would like to see your dick. The problem is that statistically it isn’t safe to assume any individual is within that group unless they explicitly ask.

She gave me her heart and I sent her a dick.

Alternative theory - you were a brief emotional vacation from her relationship. Your dick was a rude awakening.

Fun fact about that song that no one but me finds interesting: it’s a rare usage of 7/4 time. 

This was a good one too.

Hey, how about helping another guy get ungreyed? I was thinking about my dead dad....

This is the same guy who created a Tinder profile to get himself invited to a Veterans/Family only game so that he could get one of the special balls there. You know, just in case you needed another reason to hate/pity this huge dork.

Zack Hample gets denied even getting blue balls. This is not surprising.

Kevin - “This course sucks!”

I thought Arena Football was supposed to be high scoring.

Listening to the broadcast, they confirmed that the ballboy is an employee of the Mets, despite wearing a Brewers uniform. This is standard practice around the league, apparently, that the home team supplies the ballboys/girls for each game.

“Talked his minion into changing the call.” The announcer is sooooooo pissed off about this.

Officer: Where you coming from?

“hitting it long (which you probably won’t do anyway) usually carries the same penalty as hitting it short, so give yourself a chance to actually get there.”

Trump really is a man of action. Americans in Germany are now winning amazing deals.

You turn the thermostat down to turn the AC up. Come on, this is first grade stuff!

This is what white people do, everyday in large and small ways to PoC. They antagonize and antagonize and antagonize you, it gives them a sense of false worth to feel better than. It’s their whole persona, being “better than”. “I may be poor, but at least I ain’t a nigger!” White people are fully aware of the…