Oh good god. People feel ambivalent about having kids all the time. You are taking this study entirely too personally. And I can't help but believe you are being intentionally obtuse when what you take away from my comment is that "cancer research equals happiness survey." No. I was addressing the utility of research…

Well, it's not really about what you should do with this information. It's something for other people who haven't done it yet to weigh before they have kids. It's like when people volunteer tissue samples of their tumors for research. By your reasoning, why should they bother? They already have cancer! Research…

There is such a stigma against saying, "I'm not happy that I had kids" and guilt associated with that feeling that I bet a lot of people say what they think they should feel instead of what they do feel. People do this about trivial things too, so it wouldn't surprise me if people did it about kids. I know quite a few…

Not a comment with regards to that story, but one of the most touching things I've ever seen was a homeless guy and his dog walking down the street, and the man was carrying a bag of Burger King food. He takes out a box, opens it, and gives half of his chicken tenders to the dog. That man had nothing, and he gave half…

"Well, look at all the other people doing it!" is typically an excuse that not even children are allowed to make. I do, in fact, read this site on a regular basis, but I don't particularly feel the need to follow the crowd and allow them to dictate the way I speak and act about people. Apparently you do. My words…

So you'd rather solve problems by sticking your head in the sand then? If you just get rid of Texas, then you don't have to think about the women who live here, people who are sometimes too poor to leave and/or want to live closer to their families in Mexico. Or any of the women who live and work here, who try to…

It is a vanishingly small minority of the Texas population that wants secession, but go ahead and feel smug about latching on to the extremists and using it to feed your preconceptions of a huge state with a lot of liberal cities.

They sell popcorn.

Yes, hence my saying that there's more to the story.

It sounds dangerously like you're saying that the reason Jewish people are overrepresented in successful and lucrative fields is because they have earned it through a cultural/religious norm of learning, not because they are part of a larger context that rewards being white (and male) over everything else. If you want…

Oh, of course it's not necessary to have men present to have fun. But it's not about "making it fun." It's about sharing the responsibility of supporting our friends. I think it's fair for my husband to say no if it's a friend who is exclusively mine (say, a friend from high school whom he's never met). If it's…

Ah, I can definitely see that too. That's really unfortunate. I am also against the supersizing of events and solicitation of gifts, in general. I turned down bridal showers because, ugh, awkward.

I do understand your gripe about a large party, but can you see how it comes off like you're milking people (on behalf of the parents-to-be) for gifts? You get to decide the size of the party, not the parents-to-be. If you don't want 50 people there, then don't invite 50 people. Only invite 10 couples or whatever…

Well, it's not really unfair from the invitee standpoint. It's socially expected that I attend baby showers to represent my husband and myself. If I don't show up, it reflects poorly on me more than it does my husband - that's just how our society is. So yes, if we are both free and it's a couples shower, he has to…

"Living in a no man's land" is not a phrase that is unique to socioeconomics. It's weird for you to have inferred that, especially when I explained what I meant in the same comment about it being about how Asians are perceived by other people. And you're proving it with each post you make in which you double down on…

What does this have to do with anything? A woman wrote a comic that resonated with a lot of Asian women, then some asshat had to make a stupid comment, "Well, if you're treated that way, it's because you deserve it, with your unhealthy, racialized infatuation [with] white men." Then Asian women chimed in to say,…

Really, thank you for explaining my experience to me. Do you understand that you're doing exactly what racist/sexist people do when they want minorities/women to stop "complaining"? Dismissing, downplaying, not-so-subtly espousing "model minority" stereotypes. Here's a wild thought. You listen instead of having to be…

I really admire that you've been patiently dealing with all of the ridiculous shit on this thread. It's amazing what "progressive feminists" think is okay to say when it's Asians involved. I really feel, many times, like Asians live in a no-man's land - perceived as too "privileged" to fit in with other minority…

I, for one, thank my feminist overlords for informing me that the only reason I married my wonderful, handsome, funny, supportive-of-my-10-year-long-double-doctorate, white husband because I needed him for prestige and power. Nevermind that I come from a higher socioeconomic class, brought more wealth to our marriage,…

I think the Simpsons nails it on this one: