Ya'll, if RL doesn't wake up each day thinking, "I'm just so freaking cool," I almost feel like it's our duty to tell him.

Controversial opinion: Fear Street > Goosebumps.

I pride myself on my car trip taking patience. I never rush, I take frequent breaks, and I try to generally enjoy the car trip as much as is possible. Sometimes this leads to overnight stays in random hotels in Connecticut.

Maybe they can set up the Jumbotron in the basement of the Alamo.

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…