FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP READING. LET THAT BE THE ONLY THING YOU TAKE FROM THIS ARTICLE.

Where the hell are any of the number of Packers owners who have been profiled on the Daily Caller?

He deserves a second chance guys. NFL is known for giving second chances, think of Michael Vick, Adrian Peterson, Colin Kae...::checks earpiece:: ...Ezekiel Elliott...

Isn’t it still better than having Phil Simms on TV?

You know why China has harsh laws? To actually scare the living shit out of you before you commit the offense and not after committing it.

Calhoun’s Staff Member: I’m not so sure that wasn’t a guy who’s not Jon Gruden.

I’m seein’ triple here! Nine Nicki Minajes!

So in the Popovich/Kerr 2021 administration, do we make Stan Van Gundy the Secretary of State or Ambassador to the UN?

I came here to vote for the Columbus Crew and now I’m even more furious.

I don’t want to Monday Morning QB your editor but I think we probably would have figured out “Boston” from the rest of the headline.

Folks,

The spirit of Brian Cardinal will just find another host.

No. You’re missing the point. The point is that nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to be able to buy an AR.

That scene in Kingsmen just got even more fun.

There’s a reasonable explanation for all of this (you’ll kick yourself for not thinking about it). The mob is influencing these games. See everybody is betting on the Golden Knights to lose, so what they’re doing is paying the players under the table to win and then betting against the crowd. The perfect crime.

Oh come on, nobody believes you’ve got friends.

For fucks sake, stop using past examples of shitty behavior (by either party) as a justification for what’s shitty now. It doesn’t make it right, and it’s why we are in the current political death spiral we find ourselves.

You need to try associative training.

Whenever you crave sugar, drop a kettlebell on your foot.

Soon you’ll stop craving kettlebells!

Gonna be tough for writers and announcers to cover the World Series without being able to use “Crisp” as an adjective. You just deleted 25,000 of their words right there.