I understand wanting to make sure there’s evidence, but your phone has its own camera app where you can record video without broadcasting your friend’s rape to a bunch of strangers.

What do you mean a great serpent laid an egg and from it the Earth was hatched, you loin-clothed heathen? A bearded white dude willed it into existence over a six-day period, and then took a Sunday nap, and that’s why we can’t shop for liquor on that day. GET SERIOUS.

My man-harem, “The Brotel” will feature ensuites and Playstations in each room. That way I don’t have to clean up after them or keep them entertained (dudes are sooo needy!). Also freeweights because no fatties.

Your blessings, they are to be counted. Boys are gross and have cooties. My 20-year-old son’s room smells like wet goat.

It’s remote and rural so we won’t disturb anyone with our sex noises and I hear cocaine is popular there because of the ban on alcohol so it certainly seems perfect.

In fairness, most men think a harem of women is that they would be sexually served....the reality would be 100 women getting their periods at the same time and all being pissed off because you couldn’t please them or pay attention to them.

Would you actually want to have a sex cult in Utah? Only been to the state once, but even if you took all the wackadoodles out of the state, it isn’t my idea of paradise....

I have dibs on Tom Hiddleston.

Do you mean catalogue of man?

That’s a good idea! If I could find people who would want it and use it, it might happen.

I know I’ll probably get a ton of flak for this, and trust me I sympathize as a survivor myself, but I feel that the dean has every right to depose Jackie, even if I find it repugnant that she’s going around branding Jackie as a liar.

Or plot twist, the baby is born with the reddest hair and it was actually Ed Sheeran the entire time.

I read a tweet once that said “vaping is a fedora for your mouth,” and I’ve always thought that Leo DiCaprio was the human version of a fedora, so by transitive property... was he smoking himself?

“Squeeze a GoGurt up in there” ahahahahhaha

You don’t need antibiotics, you need probiotics. A cup of yogurt spooned into your vag should work well, or just squeeze a GoGurt up in there. Good as new. Smells like strawberries.

Unrelated:

Poothers?

An absolute clinic in how to troll. This is why I come here and wade through all the mediocrity. I feel like I just cleaned out my refrigerator and found a beer in the back I had forgotten.

Starred for the Knute Berger reference.

this is so fucking good. how do people not get how good this is