STOPPP. I had a coworker who was short, bald, and kind of an angry idiot. He was married to a tall, gorgeous doctor who was way too good for him. When he announced to us that she left him... I was Jack’s lack of surprise. PS I really hope he doesn’t read this. because of the whole angry idiot thing.

Every. Single. Time. I see my grandpa he’s always like, “THIS IS PROBZ THE LAST TIME I’LL SEE YOU CAUSE IM OLD AND DYING.” He’s been pulling this shit for 10 years. At my cousins graduation, who is only 1 year older than me, he said, “I PROBABLY WONT BE ALIVE FOR YOUR GRADUATION.”

I dunno. I went to a Halloween wedding and it was fucking incredible.

“and you’re already an asshole”

You sound like a winner, yourself!

Fuck you and the three people who starred you.

I’ve ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS been in love with “the other one,” so don’t even sweat it dude.

Make the card say that you’ll make it to the next one!

Any engagement that reaches it’s 5 year mark means they were never planning on getting married in the first place. At least, one of them never planned on it.

Wow. Reading this makes me so glad I broke up with my shitty ex. I want a fucking Mom’s Vace. Thank you <3

Propose in Italy. Do it. She will love you forever.

*strangle rage*

Wow fuck your family. I hate your family. If we were growing up together, I would have tortured them all quietly and daily and never would have told you because you seem so nice. Truly. I kinda want to punch your mom in the face for that baby thing for real. YOU WERE ALREADY AT THE HOSPITAL. I would have been like,…

Dying to know if they stayed together??

troll, troll, troll of the jungle, troll as he can be! watch out for that tree!

YOU DON’T KNOW MY NANA, TROLL.

oh yeah! thank you!

“plx” im dying

Lisa Rinna? Not sure who you are but... you’re a fucking idiot.

I forget what they’re screaming about in this episode.