I am POSITIVE poor Amy has high blood pressure because of McArdle.

CHOLE SEIOGHIOENEIN IS IN AMERICAN HORROR STORY??????

That's the hilarious thing about it, is the REALITY of the European, vs. American Campari's perception of "European".

This doesn't even make sense to me but it's making me laugh so hard.

God Jager WOULD DO JUST THAT WOULDN'T IT. STUPID JAGER.

Also substitute "Chicago" in that sentence, and also true.

Campari is the slightly Euro-hipster who's sooooo much younger than you, but has absorbed juuuuust enough Euro-culture from his father/grandfather that he still manages to be controlling/weirdly knowledgeable. Also he wears expensive shoes with no socks, but almost too tight jeans probably have a small hole in the…

Maybe you only get really good stories if you wait until you're 19 or 20? Maybe all the 14/15/16/17 ones were like "We did it in the car. I think. It was cool."

The statement is "I'm trolling all ya'lls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You should read "Expecting Better" (which I am reading right now) - you can almost certainly go ahead and have a glass of beer/wine. Especially at 34 weeks! I plan to at least (I'm only 11 weeks now.)

"23. Downstairs bedroom dresser wood finish damaged and finish was stripped resulting in bleached appearance"

"20. A number of wine glasses are missing."

"17. The upstairs single bed that was thrown has a broken bed frame."

Her performance in the bedroom certainly wouldn't be anything special, that's for sure.

I was unable to get through the entire thing in one go, but he also seems to suspect the "internet", your "siblings" and "personal issues" also do not exist.

Also he's not looking for patients OR customers???? WHICH IS IT? ARE YOU A DOCTOR OR A SALESMAN?

I got distracted and wandered off. It happens sometimes.

I really enjoy how he gets in pretend fights with himself, between the question and answer portion of the FAQs.

Burt, all you really needed to write there was this: "I AM AN INDIANAPOLIS COLTS FAN. MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL. PLEAZ HALP. SEND ME BOOZE." :)

"Widening and then averting your eyes as though uncomfortable and judgmental (Lauren Conrad is GREAT at this)" This is a terrific visual, and my brain just played me a very satisfying montage of Lauren doing this over and over and over. It's also underused - and I plan to do it in a meeting later today. Thanks Erin!