Eh, just don’t invite your fat friend along. Drive solo.

but come on—you’d have to do something crazy like hacking all of the bumpers off…

Ughhhh the stance.......

Nothing says “I’m home” in Mother Russia, like a heaping bowl of shit.

The Mom’s right hand—what a whammer!

Option 3 is to find the Alpha car in the parking lot first thing, and then crash into it, just beat the hell out of it...then the other cars know to respect you.

“I’m going to hike the Appalachian trail with a only a pocket knife and a bit of string.” - Guy with better idea than buying this car.

“Licence and registration, please”

The Fiat already had the Hellcat treatment

Taco bout a wreck.

Whatever you pick you certainly don’t want Arash. Why get a sports car that needs to be fixed by a dermatologist?

I’m confused. Is Alex Goy what Alex Roy becomes after leaving Judaism?

Why stop there?

Boogity boogity boogity, let’s go racist!

Those are normal dead cows. These are dead French cows of the finest quality, having eaten only from vats full of the finest black caviar mixed with the finest French champagne. These cows had names - nay - these cows had titles. Viscount Vache Of Bourdeaux III. These cows were classy.

Why did Grandpa bring a shotgun to the Christmas tree farm?

“We have to defend our Second-Dimension rights! No more letting in those dirty foreign line segments, taking all our jobs!”

Hahahah that 1.5" pipe is a fucking life saver. I went with black iron since it sits in my trunk most of the time and tactical black is more intimidating when used as an “attitude adjuster”