I've seen Top Gun, pilots don't have wives, just slow-motion volley ball pickup games.

And the FFA...

Stop pissing in the lemonade Sugar.

Hey Giz, I know this is a paid ad but can we get an comparison breakdown on the leading robot assistants? Maybe throw in some of the kids' robots for fun? I just got my first assistant in the house (Echo Dot 3) something I thought was absolutely useless and would never need. Now I want one that is mobile and follows…

I think my 4 year old son needs to be investigated for insider trading. Since the day the store nearest us closed its doors he has repeatedly told me “It’s coming back”.

I’m literally masturbating to his story. The casual look on his wife’s face... The sister-in-law ducked down behind the kitchen counter (Zima in hand) giving him a blowy. Surprised look on his face. His washboard abs. Wife closes in for a glass of water, *gasp* joins in. Wife shoots sister a scolding look. Mic boom…

So you applied alcohol to increase your chances of fucking a minor? “Come on, it tastes just like real lemonade”. Did you use Mike’s Hard or you more of a Four Loko guy? Did you walk her in from the school bus? Was her dad home? Did you give her a juice box after? I wanna hear about the prequel. What’s the opening…

After reading his replies I’m starting to think he is making it up for attention and the more likely scenario is he is single, a bed wetter, and this is just the type of niche porn he is into.

This is how siblings can also be cousins. West Virginia everybody [/safe assumption]. 

Did you just admit to fucking a 17 year old while you were 24?

No, Ant-Man could go in Hulk's head, then grow and explode his skull.

9 I think, and I hid under the bed the entire time until my parents got home. I was 100% convinced I would be abducted by aliens of they could see me through the windows. Too much Unsolved Mysteries w/ my dad.

Teachers, not students, article is up there ⬆

Teachers not students, where did you read students?

The article reads “teachers” not children.

It’s actually lower level shit, like dropping a 10 to a 5 just from fucking them.

Yeah, poor Sony.

To sum up what this guy said ⬆ “Aliens can’t be real because I love Jesus”.

[Nurse] Emergency, Dr. Octagon, please go to Room 109. You got a patient with rabies waitin’

[Dr. Octagon walks upstairs, humming to himself. He closes the door to Room 109.]

[Dr. Dooom] What’s wrong, Doctor?
[Dr. Octagon] Looks like you’re gonna need a bad operation
[Doooom] Oh yeah? You that Dr. Octagon-ass…

Hi friend, can I interest you in a Gucci print 24 karat model? We are accepting orders now.