Without pimento cheese in your life, you’re already dead inside.

Pimento cheese is not only A cheese spread, it is THE cheese spread, and your entire article becomes a farce the moment you discount it so cavalierly.

Anyone who’s shoveled a driveway knows that snow is heavy.

Again, I’m sure RiRi is CRUSHED.

I’m sure Rihanna is crushed by your opinion.

“Brayden”

I’ve never understood why the penalties for attempted murder are less than the penalties for murder.

I can’t wait for us to get to the pushing to the ground part.

Nice, not Nice.

Stick your shrimp in a jalapeno, then wrap the whole thing with bacon.

There is literally not a single item of BBQ on any of these lists.

The first thing you learn when playing softball or baseball, like the VERY first thing your dad/mom/first coach will say is “keep your eye on the ball.”

“You never forget your first meatball salad”

Yeah I recognized the link from past racist trolls :)

“What just happened?”

Nah, you’re dismissed.

Then you’ve never been on the subway in NYC or Philadelphia, two of the largest in the US.

Like I tell my four year old, me saying we’ll do something isn’t the same as me promising we’ll do something.