“The enemy of my enemy is still brown so fuck ‘em.”

“400-pound”

You know... I’d never even realized I could text myself :)

The writing died years ago:

I guess it depends on your set-up, but for me:

“woman covering her bare breasts with her hands” 

“...the town eventually intervened after a Lake Elsinore official was hit by a car and a local rattlesnake was forced to defend itself from a trespasser.”

That’s what happens when you marry an Arsenal fan.

I’m not being a smart ass here, I’ve only been following the sport for about 2 years and I’m far from an expert in the rules.

“Pretend you don’t know anything about hockey.”

At this point I’d happily trade Trippier for a bag of balls and two pair of used keepers gloves.

I was seriously impressed by your team, your fans, and your sportsmanship.

I’m having a hard time following your train of thought here.

I woke up this morning about half convinced I’d dreamed the whole thing.

I’ve scrambled a dozen eggs with a few pieces of toast for myself at breakfast a few times, so 10 doesn’t seem like a stretch.

“You’re a shit human being who shouldn’t be allowed to order pizza much less visit a restaurant with decent people.”

I’M TELLING SALTY!

Oh bother.

I had that same list, and now I have unashamedly let my kid watch youtube videos while she sat in McDonalds eating nuggets.