“My roommate started a fight with me over fruit-storage techniques.”

I gonna say just maybe they were fucking with you...

This isn’t a horror story, but it’s definitely a weird one: I walked into my freshman dorm room one day and found my roommate, Jen, in bed with her best friend Ann. Okay, whatever, it was a women’s college blah blah.

Apparently what you do is clean them and toss them into a freezer bag until you have at least a dozen then you boil them and scoop out the brain.

How has “backpack full of unrefrigerated squirrel meat” NOT been used as a Trump epithet on this site?

WHAT

right? like HELLO people have we not watched/read Into the Wild and seen Chris McCandless’s abject failure with the bear? just sayin’ meat goes back fast

Why the pixelation? Are we afraid the squirrel’s family will see this before they are notified?

Kind of related tale of gross things kids take to school - my cousin’s son and his friend were making a magic potion in the schoolyard and decided they needed pee and poop as ingredients. Her kid actually pooped in a sippy cup, stuck it in a drawer in the bathroom, and then asked his mum for a plastic bag to take…

Yummy chitterlings with formaldehyde flavor!

I brought home a dead bird from school in 4th grade and put it in my closet. Don’t ask why; I don’t know. I was terrified of my closet for months because the bird disappeared! I decided to bury the poor bird a few days later, but I couldn’t find it. I’m sure my mom threw it out....but we NEVER discussed it. And it’s…

My vegetarian-diet farts must have seemed like the space shuttle taking off

Yeah, this is me. “My passive aggression knows no bounds, try ME.”

I dunno. I kind of like Ashly’s I’m-a-ticking-time-bomb-but-I’m-working-on-it style.

I would never have responded to her, got to school early, put my shit into the desk next to the window and been laying on the top bunk when that bitch opened the door.

Triples are bad enough to begin with, but a double turned into a triple is just terrible.

The UCs have turned a lot of (supposed to be) doubles into triples. Nothing good can come from living in a triple.

Guistinna is like:

Majors are only bullshit if you pick a bullshit major. You know, like “ancient history”.