A week or so ago Van Jones came out on Twitter as an Assad supporter, so naturally he’s also okay with the budding tyrant Trump.

Single mothers?! Lesbians with children ?!! Stay at home dads?!!!!

After 21 seasons, the producers should be fucking ASHAMED of themselves that it has taken this long!! Its almost annoying that they are making such a big deal about the announcement, when it should really be a “Hey America, we are the worst. We’re really sorry. We don’t even deserve Rachel”.  

And there it is.

I want Canada to annex us because Justin Trudeau has invaded my heart.

This is so deliciously good.

I am sure Trudeau wishes he could be hanging out on Richard Branson’s island with Obama instead of guest starring on the Political Apprentice.

Despite this being 2017, it took me a minute to realize you meant the Secret Service and weren’t referring to the Nazi military group.

This is so messy and low budget. The world is laughing at us.

Next jackass who tells me Hillary was a traitor because she might not have been perfect about her emails gets ripped a new one.

There is a seriously good chance that this motherfucker will get us all killed.

I’m not worried about the number of nukes (100 can kill us all off). START was predicated on the understanding that sane, sensible people will equally reduce their arsenals, and that sane, sensible people would safeguard them. START was important, not because of the reduction, but because of the intent behind it. It…

Yes, but they were in AMERICA. In America, we clamp down on your hand like a vice, stare directly into your eyes as a display of dominance and shake until a little bit of poop falls out.

Jesus Christ. One tiny upshot to this whole national embarrassment is that I now know, without a doubt, that I am not nearly as socially awkward and embarrassing as I thought I was.

He’s not actually a successful businessman.

Hello. I’m not American. Can someone tell me why America thought it was a good idea to make a functionally illiterate man with severe personality disorders the President of the United States of America?

You want him to die? I don’t.

Like Seth Myers observed: The Presidency is supposed to age the President, not the rest of us.

I love the Politico article that says “he has been surprised that government can’t be run like his business”

if he thinks being president is hard on him, he should see what its doing to us.