Yeah I thought Geri looked gorgeous too. I’ve gone through various episodes of feeling sad that I didn’t get married until I was 37 (because I am vain, and unreasonable, and drunk when having these feelings), but actually it’s good because I’m really glad that I held out for the guy I did.

I got married at 19 and made it until 39. I deserve a fucking medal.

Oh, he might be a decent person in many regards, but I worry about 1) what kind of 17 year old wants to get married, and 2) what kind of 25 year old wants to marry a 17 year old? They’ve got some wires crossed imo. And lord knows I would not want to spend my whole life (or even a few years of it) with the people I was…

I loved Geri’s wedding gown. Lovely lace, very flattering & the back was pretty & sexy.

Katy Perry + Sheryl Sandberg = Kylie Jenner

Fun fact: Hugh Grant is also banned from The Daily Show.

Then he made YOU pick up the butt.

I wouldn’t expect Travis Barker to be any other way. Guess it comes with the territory when you suck at your instrument.

Josh Hartnett, you absolute fuckstick.

She’s also a scientologist, so.

He needs to come off it because I had to google who he even is right now.

It was a typical night out at the bars in Minneapolis & was having a great time talking to a really nice guy. In the middle of a sentence, Josh Hartnett bounds up to the guy and drags him away while shouting, “No. Beer googles, dude. No. Beer goggles. Beer goggles. No. No. No. No. Take off your beer goggles. No. No.…

Jon Stewart once backed away from me slowly.

So this isn’t really the celebrity being a dick, but I love this story. When I was studying abroad in Spain in 2007, Superbad had just come out the summer before, and it was opening in Spain in October. McLovin and Jonah Hill were at a club that my friend and I were going to for her birthday; we were leaving for…

Bob Saget did standup at my College in 2008 on the heels of The Aristocrats. When I was standing in line for the bathroom, he cut in front of me, turned around, said, “Sorry, sugartits, gotta make a splash” and slammed the door in my face.

When I was 8 I insisted on inviting the boy from my class (who had behavioural problems, due to a poor family life) to my birthday party. Other parents took my mum aside to ask her ‘if she was sure’. My mum was worried and checked with my, and apparently I replied that I knew he didn’t get invited to parties a lot,…

And this is why people home school and believe in charters. Who raising these little assholes? Don’t answer that.

1) People are the fucking worst