Take off one pants leg completely. You will be bare ass naked in public, but you won't get pee on yourself!

I use Clue to track my period, and it includes its best guess at ovulation/fertility. I wouldn’t rely on it entirely, but it’s easier than actively trying to track ovulation on your own.

Yeah, why wouldn’t he talk to the daughter about it?

What a cute little guy! I’m so sorry for your loss.

My cat Zoot (2005-2015) was on a restricted diet for most of her life. I got a 1/8 cup measuring cup so she could have more smaller meals, and she still harassed anyone who went near her food. If it was near one of your regular feeding times, you couldn’t go in the kitchen without her running in. Every morning she’d…

He has to be right side up for the app to figure out that he’s a cat.

Given that I’ve encountered people who think that blowjobs are an inalienable right, he may not notice the imbalance.

Stupid sexy Flanders!

I’ve noticed that my boyfriend speeds up a little to get to a door first, so I’ve started slowing down a bit.

I did not find Instead to be great for period sex. Well, technically the boyfriend didn't find it great for period sex...

Instead of cloning my cat, I cried a lot and fostered a litter of kittens. Less expensive, and the kittens got ready for their new homes (I kept one of them—he continuing the tradition of sleeping on the good furniture)

Apparently cat clones don’t even look the same: http://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/clo…

7. Teaching

Get the men’s shaving cream—it works way better and you can pretend you're smuggling dinosaurs

Ahh, the joys of having to explain to people that it's hard *because* you enforce the rules (no kids, also a teacher)

I had a stuffed Eleroo and a smaller plastic figure. I thought it was bullshit that I couldn’t fit small Eleroo in the big one’s pouch.

I don’t want to imply that this is a good idea at any time (spoiler alert: this is a terrible idea always), but IT’S THE LAST WEEK OF CLASSES/FINALS WEEK. Everyone has enough shit to do without having to be on lockdown for 2nd Amendment LARPing.

It's been easy—even before I worked at a school with plagiarism scanning software, most of my plagiarists wouldn't make sure all the fonts matched or attempt to mesh together writing from multiple essays (meaning most of the plagiarized work I get is *worse* than what even a low level student would write)

It’s incredibly dumb when I show them how our plagiarism checking software works and name drop free essay sites, but most of the plagiarized essays I get are the result of desperation (rather than pure “maybe she won’t notice” stupidity).