Oh good, now it’s even easier for my students to plagiarize Wikipedia...

As an old, I’d recommend checking a library. Some of the sampler books have borders and alphabets that can be easily adapted (if you want more cute border/shocking text projects).

Me: Damn, that’s a fine ass!

If only the jealousy were internalized...

I think I read these in first or second grade and had terrible nightmares. I am now in my 30s and would really appreciate it if someone could tell me that spiders can't actually lay eggs in your face.

Seconding the “it depends on your eye shape”—if you have hooded eyes, don’t bother with the crease.

Don’t fake it. Admittedly I’m in my 30s and no longer give a fuck about a lot of things, but I’m now a strong proponent of saying “Sex is good, but I’m not going to get off” or “That feels really good, but I need my hand/your hand/a vibrator/30 minutes of oral to get off.”

I’ve had decent luck with Maybelline’s Color Plush eye shadows (Gutsy Green is a recent purchase and a favorite right now)—but then again, I also use primer. Right now I’m using Mary Kay Eye Primer (bought it from a friend after I ran out of Revlon Photoready primer).

I got a clay paw print made when my cat died in June, and I *hated* it. It shows her claws out and just looks grotesque. The ink paw print we made a few years ago is a much better memento, so for cat owners I’d recommend doing paw print stuff while the cat is still able to step on the mold/ink pad.

I'm conflicted about engagement rings. I don't like the idea of something that marks only me as spoken for, but I like getting jewelry from my boyfriend and I think he'd want to get a ring (or would get more flack if he didn't get me). And I would hate it if he wasted money on some expensive rock, so I guess I should…

A gift given at the shower *is* a wedding gift (which is why it's considered impolite to invite people to a bridal shower who aren't invited to the wedding).

I’d say Birchbox mostly because it’s only $10. I get tempted my the other boxes sometimes, but $10 is in my “harmless frittering” range. (I am in the high paying field of adjunct teaching, so this may effect my perspective on beauty boxes).

Step 1: Pay someone else to do it.

My Zoot would always come to greet me. If she was outside, she’d run to the driveway when she saw my car (sometimes I had to get her inside and then come back out and finish parking). Inside she’d sometimes watch me from the window or she’d come when I got inside and called her.

Don’t be ashamed to shriek if he’s hurting you. Kittens without siblings to play with need some help learning that biting/scratching hurts.

Until I read this comment, I didn’t think anything could be creepier than my boyfriend’s Google Maps knowing the hotel reservation I made (because I forwarded the reservation email).

I know this is an old article, but I wanted to thank you for writing it. My little Zoot Suit died last night. Monday she seemed like her usual self, Tuesday she got sick, and Wednesday evening I was there with her while she was euthanized—two weeks before her tenth birthday. I had no time to prepare and it hurts that…

I’ve been considering proposing or at least pre-proposing (like an acknowledging a we can’t really set a date until family/other stuff gets better, but I’ll say yes if he wants to do the “official” asking) with a watch. I know he likes watches, but I have no idea what to get and what’s reasonably priced without being…

I would much rather have a dueling proposals story than the knowledge that I had to beg and bully somebody into proposing to me.

Also be wary of anyone who says “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve my best.”