I should've made it clearer in my original post (trying to avoid too many details since my boyfriend tries to limit his internet exposure as much as possible—sorry, honey!).

We're actually opposites—I can't stand sucking cock and was incredibly relieved when my boyfriend said he didn't really enjoy it. Most of my offers are an attempt at reciprocity.

Gaze upon me in wonderment, internet users, for I am in such a strange and bizarre relationship! I even get turned down when I offer to blow my bf.

I know, and it puts me in a tough spot because I can't voice how it makes me feel without him making me feel as though my feelings are unjustified.

Adding to the chorus of postpone. If this happened before you got engaged/started planning the wedding, would you have moved with or without him?

Based on some of my shittier family holidays, I suspect that people who have the "it'll work itself out" mentality tend to have at least one woman thanklessly and invisibly working it out.

These kids today. Whatever happened to "I need it to do homework"?

what sounds like it might be fun to do for the next forty years? Pick that.

As a Junior Girl Scout, I insisted on going to try to sell cookies by myself. One time I went around my parents' office park—alone, since my parents were working and I didn't want to look like some huge loser.

Yes, I'm sure my students who struggled to write their final research papers will agree that English classes don't take very much time at all.

Hey, Miss Doesn't-Find-Me-Sexually-Attractive-Anymore! I just tripled my productivity!

The contract thing just shows that Ariel's ready for the human world where we just click "Agree" because we want to use the software we're installing and don't want to read boring stuff.

I recently told my students the original version and they were all horrified. (I teach college, so they'll probably be okay.)

My plan is to wait for everybody else in my MA program to panic and go back to school for their PhDs. Then I'll swoop in and get all the shitty one year FT contracts! And explain to my mother that I'm still completely fucked.

There's a lot of debate over whether or not recycling is actually plagiarism. One of my classes develops a short, no sources argumentative essay into the final research paper, and I don't think there's an easy way to make the distinction between revising something within a class and reusing something from an earlier…

The guy I've been dating for over a year doesn't even use flowery language! Well, except when he wants to try to make me cry by saying sweet things when I have PMS.

You don't need to put an actual time on it, but start with one activity (getting drinks/coffee, a meal, visiting a park). It's much easier to add to the date than to graciously cancel something previously agreed to.

My "favorite" was a guy who wrote only to tell me I had a beautiful smile. Since my profile picture at the time did not actually show me smiling, I assumed he just told that to every woman in the area.

Remembering that PMS turns me into a horrible monster was about the only thing that kept me from having a screaming and/or crying argument with my boyfriend about parking yesterday.

Yeah, everybody is astonished when I tell them that I wanted to get it on and my high school boyfriend didn't.