If I weren't mooching off my elderly parents, I wouldn't have cable. It's just not worth the money.

Thank you for this, and your other comments in this thread.

I have never seen a Smart Board that was actually hooked up and in use. All the ones I encountered were "the big thing blocking the chalkboard/whiteboard so now you can't write *anything*, let alone use ~*magic technology*~."

I'm teaching adult students right now. I have to put minimums on all writing assignments, and I've got a few who don't get full credit because they can't come up with at least 5 sentences on their reading homework.

They should encourage *everyone* to write more.

"As intelligence goes up, happiness goes down. See? I made a graph....I make a lot of graphs."

Three years of SAT Prep? Damn, I was a little shit about having to take one round of normal SAT Prep.

The *tone* of these articles bothers me *because* I am dealing with pet obesity.

I would come home from the vet in tears because I'd started restricting my flabby tabby's diet and she was still gaining weight. The vet wouldn't believe me, so I'd get the diabetes/fatty liver talk, and I felt so helpless because I was trying to help my cat and nothing worked.

These snitty articles about fat-shaming pets bother me because pet obesity is a serious problem with potentially fatal consequences. Especially for cats, who are much harder to exercise. My cat is a beautiful cream colored tabby. She's also too damn fat. At one point, she was too fat to wash her own ass. A few…

My fat cat gets 4 small meals a day. Which seems kind of ridiculous, but breaking up her daily food into multiple 1/8th cup servings has helped both her sanity and mine. I mean, she still cries, but I just give her affection.

Fear not, citizens! You can rest easy tonight for I will be protecting you with my masturbatory powers!

He also tried to pretend he didn't realize what he'd done. Like it'd be better to just reflexively grab people's throats the first time you get seriously busy with them.

I had a guy put his hand on my throat—with no warning—while going down on me. He seemed surprised and befuddled that my reaction was to push his hand away, sit up, pin his wrist, and say, "What the fuck?"

There is something sad and disappointing about a flaccid dick, but an erect cock? Between that and those stomach lines in the last swimsuit picture, I forgot what we were talking about.

My mother always told us she kept her maiden name. When I was a kid, adults would sometimes assume (and even ask) if my parents were divorced, and my sister has said that dealing with idiots was part of the reason why she took her husband's name.

My father's paternal grandparents were Danish immigrants, but our last name was set before they came to Nebraska. Somehow we managed to avoid one of the common Danish male first names since our name didn't make the Top 30 in Denmark.

After realizing I was either going to end up like the end of that old Twilight Zone episode or crushed beneath my books, I asked for a Kindle for graduation. And now I'm hoarding free Kindle books and real books. You can have both!

Maybe they're like Dumbo's magic feather: they work because she believes in them.

Now I'm trying to decide if that's better or worse than being a teacher. Sometimes I don't get to go to the bathroom, but at least I don't have to submit a report of what I would've done in there if I'd had time to be in there!