Yeah, that was how I learned that if you are coherent enough to make decisions and be aware of your surroundings, don't go to the ER.

I guess to also be fair he was the one who revealed that mashed potatoes are not really a potato in the microwave that it then mashed with a fork. Our mother was not happy to come home and find the jig was up.

I don't use a top sheet. Well, I do, I just put it on the mattress. A sheet set is twice as useful when you don't follow society's bogus rules.

I once watched my father put a metal pot in the microwave.

The first time it happened I passed out and went to the emergency room just to be on the safe side. I think I regretted that by hour 3.

Thanks for the link and sympathy! :)

The cat does attack sheets when they're being put on the bed. Any strange and unusual behavior fascinates her.

And if they do come over to go in the bedroom, you've pretty much already sealed the deal!

Making the bed is a waste of time. Who's going to care if it's not made? Certainly not the cat who sometimes sleeps on my pile of dirty laundry.

I was surprised Virginia didn't make the cut. And then I was depressed that there are at least 10 places with worse legislation.

Last week I had an ovarian cyst rupture. It was a bad one this time, but fortunately it was in the privacy of my own home so I didn't have to explain to any onlookers that 1)something on my ovary exploded, 2)it's happened before, and 3)I don't have money to waste on convincing a doctor that I have a history of…

If you're not sure, you can always call the emergency vet. They'll ask some questions about the animal's behavior (vomiting/not eating/just acting weird), and they'll let you know if you can wait to talk to your regular vet. It's also helpful to ask what would make it an emergency, since you will probably be up all…

I wish it had just used an age range (although I'm usually at the top of the "People who are 20-something to 30 are totally useless and/or fucked" range). Late 80's sounds like it would exclude my sister (1985), and sometimes we're different generations and sometimes we're not. It's like they're just making all this…

How much is the loan forgiveness worth? I looked into teacher loan forgiveness, and if I could work 5 years full-time in a low income district (such as the one in which I am currently a part-time instructor), I'd get $5k.

I was born in '81. What the hell am I again? Other than stressed and exhausted from my job that doesn't have enough hours for me to support myself and stressed and exhausted from my looming thesis defense.

But once they're close enough to critique, they're in an excellent position to be kicked in the face!

I'm the same way. Have you tried one leg on his shoulder so you're sort of pointed to the side? You don't have to worry about fitting the vibe between you, and it is effective.

After using a vibrator, I've found it difficult to bring myself to orgasm without one because I am god damned lazy.

Cats: Nature's Asshole Assassins!

The bacteria in a cat's mouth is incredibly toxic to birds. Since cats will often mess with their prey, a bird may be able to escape (or a human may intervene) before the cat goes for the kill. If it's been carried in the cat's mouth or bitten/scratched, there's a good chance the bird will die anyway even if it gets…