Voting is bad. Turtles are good. As long as they’re racist turtles.

I wish I could shit kittens. Would never use the toilet again. I guess anything is possible when you’re rich, old, white and evil.

“I’m clearly an expert witness...”

I guess I’d rather be on trial than have no soul...

Whoever schedules the date.

Today. And two more tomorrow.

With respect, paneer doesn’t need a cult. Paneer is life.

My point exactly. Also, I love that I can pull Naked Lunch off my bookshelf, choose any random page, and find the most visceral description of a nightmare I never realized I already had. Made complete not just via Ed Sheeran, but with giant centipedes. So many legs...

“Traffickers in the Black Meat, flesh of the giant black centipede -sometimes attaining a length of six feet- found in a lane of black rocks and iridescent, brown lagoons, exhibit paralyzed crustaceans in camouflage pockets of the Plaza visible only to Meat Eaters...

Ya, well... So does the whole damn world. It’s called homo sapiens sapiens.

You win all of the stars today.

... Isn’t “earth” mostly shit? Like literally... worm shit, dinosaur shit, cow shit... I bet that somewhere, there is an empirical study that determines just how much of Earth’s sediment and rock are composed of fecal matter or its fossilized remnants.

Damn.

Agreed. I have literally never heard of anyone I have ever met going to the states for surgery. Rich or poor alike. I’m sure it happens for certain super specialized treatments for patients with lots of money, but I can say it’s not the norm by any conceivable means.

Apologies, but... to be fair, we’ve kinda been dunking on you guys for a little while now...

Abso-fucking-lutely!

Delicioso.

Donald? Donald is that you?!

Good for her. I’ll stop by the next time I’m in Paris.

I live in Toronto. This is a revelation. Now to apologize my way to the front of the cheese line...