a raging egomaniac delivers a “you kids get off my law”-type hot take in anticipation of his ego trip movie that no one asked for flopping LOL. I saw the preview for the new Avatar before Elvis last night (another bladder buster) and just could not get excited for it no matter how pretty it looks.

They really don’t seem to understand that they’re just admitting their movie isn’t as compelling as three consecutive episodes of a TV show. Sorry James, but the first third of Severance is actually just more interesting than Avatar!

I saw Avatar a second time!

A movie theater’s entire business relies on selling oversized drinks and snacks.

Ah yes...Ruprecht the Monkey Boy. You know, everything Steve Martin does is genius. Everything.

‘I wasn’t too impressed with the movie the first time and can’t even remember the character names.’ isn’t as ringing of an endorsement for a second watch as he seems to think it is.

Excuse me, may I go to the bathroom?

Jim, buddy: it’s not that I don’t want to watch a 3 hour long movie, it’s that I don’t want to watch your 3 hour long movie

PAPYRUS!

My young son believes in this paradigm.

“Here’s the big social paradigm shift that has to happen: It’s okay to get up and go pee.”

Nobody still working at The AV Club has this level of wit anymore.

It’s always disingenuous if directors like Cameron or Judd Apatow bring up binge-watching when whining that no one likes their over-long movies. Binge-watching is a choice the viewer makes. A three-four hour movie cut is a choice the director makes and asks/expects/demands the viewer go along with.

When I had to get up and pee during the last half hour of Boyhood, I couldn’t really blame the director that I’d been drinking Diet Coke for the last two hours.

Three-hour movie? Sure!

Three hours of fucking Avatar? PASS.

It’s okay to get up and go pee...

the other thing is, the fact is, yeah james, people can watch 8 hours of tv at home and feel weird about watching 3 hours of something in a theatre. that’s a problem you have to solve as a filmmaker, it’s not something i have to solve as a consumer.

i get really baffled by the ‘i know people binge tv so a long movie shouldn’t be a problem for ANYONE’ point people (not just directors) keep making.

I would take a 4 hour cut of a great movie I love rewatching. Avatar ain’t it. 

next time on old man shakes fist at cloud.