Fighting is stupid, but sometimes necessary...which is the point I made in my original post. If you can smell my vagina, you must be close. Come on over and then you’ll have a story to tell all of your racist friends about how you got your ass kicked by an old faggot with a vagina. Bring a bag for your teeth.

Almost 40 and definitely capable of beating the shit out of you. No doubt about it. Want a shot at the title?

If I run along, what will happen to everybody at the drive-thru?

Wow, you really are an ignorant fuck. I agreed with you that fighting is stupid. And you never played hockey, liar. And I guarantee that I am tougher than you...on and off the internet. Definitely.

I played hockey for a long time and agree with you that fighting is stupid. But, it is part of the game that is very physical and very competitive. Players will charge across the ice for the sole purpose of smearing you into the boards. They’ll cross-check you if they think the refs aren’t paying attention. They’ll…

In 1994 (when I was a sophomore in high school) I owned a 1981 Chevy Citation for about 6 months. I bought it for $100. The hub caps would fly off of it when I’d turn. It burned oil. It was awful in every way. The brakes went nuts and I gave it away.

I had a 1988 Acura RS hatchback in college. It was rad. Got t-boned by some oldsters...knocked me out, blew all of the glass out of the car, smashed everything to shit and the engine was still running when I regained consciousness. Good times.

I was going to do a Paul Bearer deadlift joke...but that’s not nice. Paul Bearer everyone, isn’t he great.

My only knowledge of Robby Gordon comes from his appearance in Dust to Glory...where he comes across as a first class douche bag.

Although that seat literally looks like half of a nutcracker, I still think this bike is cool. I am really happy to see the Orange County Chopper era of bike building coming to a close. Hipster or not, these guys are actually riding/racing the bikes that they build. They looked at a 50 year-old Honda Super Cub and…

When you’re 4 years old, the safest place in the world should be your father’s arms.

I hope 2016 marks the year that people stop getting so fucking upset about what someone like Ben Damon got in an argument about on a show like Project Greenlight...whatever the fuck that is.

Cool looking bike. All they need to do is shave off 250 or so pounds and they’d have something that someone might actually want to ride off road. I know I make the same complaint about every single adventure bike every single time, but I really can’t imagine trying to pull a 500lb bike out of the mud. Pulling a 250lb…

I’ve never seen it, but I’m sure the witty banter is cutting edge.

Is this still considered a wicked burn? Are you the dude who hangs out on the periphery of conversations only to interrupt with lame-ass sitcom quips? Did the laugh track go off in your mind as you typed what you obviously thought was the ultimate lampoon? Do you watch Two Broke Girls on demand?

In other news, it looks like they overturned his ban on using Grecian Formula.

At a Christmas party when I was 24 and a peon, I told a VP I would give her $100 if she could eat a whole canister of cashews. I also told her to fuck off a year later when I quit. I had some legendary status in that office that lasted a couple of years after I left.

I’ve posted this before and I’m not typically a braggart, but it isn’t often that I get things dialed in this well either.