I listen to conservative talk radio sometimes (because I hate myself/want to be aware of what the other side is saying/it’s entertaining in a make-your-head-explode kind of way) and they allll do this. Rush Limbaugh in particular spits out “Democrat Party” with such venom that you can almost hear his jowls quivering.…

Cool! When will you be opening your practice?

Performance art?

What’s even more upsetting about this is that Wasserman Schultz isn’t just a rank-and-file congresswoman; she’s the chair of the DNC. Her actions reflect on the party. And if these are the principles that are going to define the Democratic Party, it’s gonna be pretty hard for me to continue calling myself a democrat.

Has anyone checked on Kris Jenner? Is she OK? I imagine that having Bette Midler throw shade at you is one of the most devastating things it is humanly possible to experience.

Busted.

The original side-scroller was one of the first games I ever got really into so it holds a special place in my heart. 1991 Duke Nukem was my soda swilling, Techbot zapping, Oprah watching neckless hero.

And that’s totally fine! The thing is that “kind of think he maybe did it” isn’t the standard upon which a conviction should be made. “He probably did it” isn’t even the standard. The standard is “beyond a reasonable doubt,” which I think pretty clearly wasn’t met in this case. If there was proof beyond a reasonable…

If only he’d had more time

*googles*

I dunno, I classify “dragging Joy Behar” as fairly important in the grand scheme of things.

I still cannot wrap my head around Joy Behar not being aware that nurses use stethoscopes. Like, that is a fact that you do not need to be in the medical profession to know. You just have to have received medical treatment from a nurse at some point over the course of your existence.

Soooooo is someone who doesn't believe in the notion of private property immune from prosecution if they commit a burglary? This is just all manner of stupid.

What do you expect from someone who can’t even spell Matt right?

I read that as “they’re like adults who never got told that Satan wasn’t real” and was suuuuuuuuuuuuper confused for a minute

I almost fell asleep just typing that

“FLETCHER,” *nasal exhale* “MABEL. Three seven four, nine six oh two.” *nasal inhale* “Thirty four twenty five... Oak Street.” *nasal exhale*

And here’s the best part: when Richter and his ensemble perform the album in Berlin this fall, they will play straight from midnight until 8 AM to an audience reclining in “four or five hundred beds.”

Hollywood: where you gotta be at least 27 to play a high schooler but no older than 25 to play a 30something.