Yes, and while we’re at it, why tax tobacco companies when we could all just pay the health care costs for lifelong smokers? 

Fuck Phil Neikro. In 1985 he had 299 wins, and the Yankees were chasing the Blue Jays for the AL East. He went out and promptly lost like 5 starts in a row (this may be off since it’s a childhood memory, it could be less....or more.) and basically cost the Yanks a chance at the division. Then the day after they were…

He essentially had 2 hall of fame careers. That explains the 3rd person references.

Back and to the left...

that would require him to last until the season premiere which is still six weeks away

This is the White House communications director

This is the White House communications director, people. Let that sink in.

holy shit it’s happening already? fuck where did the summer go?

“College athletes shouldn’t be paid because they get a free education.”

“Some of y’all can count TO TEN?!”

Always that one douche that has to get pissed about the obvious play, which is to tie any abuse of power to the giant traitor turd pretending to be President.

Calls for someone with a different opinion than you to be silenced...

Like some sort of ban?

Needless flexing of authority, wild overreaction to immigrant, old and miserable.

His pants were on fire.

“This story about a janitor exploding needs more drama!”

He’s not crying over the ball. He’s crying because he just realized his Dad is a failure, a loser. He’ll never look at the world the same way again. Just like my son did the first time he found me passed out, naked and drunk on the front lawn. Welcome to the real world kid.

1. Wouldn’t hit him in the face if you were capable of producing athletic offspring. Survival of the fittest

You go right ahead and hold that grudge, kid. It took me over 40 years to get a foul ball. Life sucks, get used to it.