While this was a very enjoyable articles, there were a few mistakes and questionable claims made. Since this wasn't originally posted here, I don't know if corrections can be made. However:

Okay, so, these tweets are insane, but the original question and the mention of toilet paper, when combined with my natural socialism, make me ask: why aren't necessities like tampons, toilet paper, soap, toothpaste, and so on subsidized? We all need them (or, should), so why don't we all come together to acquire…

You'll have to excuse me if I don't the risks to safety posed by images posted on the internet too seriously.

NFL: €6.6bn
Premier League, Bundesliga, La Liga: €6.8bn
All European football leagues on that list: €15.77 (if I did my math right)

Anyone else planning to build this in Minecraft as soon as possible?

Admittedly I don't know too much about diet and fibre and all that. But based on the information I have, fibre makes things a lot looser, and not firmer and presumably easier to keep in. That would be protein you want.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. The federal government can ban my drones in their national parks, but I can't ban their drones from watching me? Sounds like some real, grade-A, bullshit right there!

We're using the previous dating system as an anchor. A dating system which was pretty central to current human civilization. Pretty fair to use that as an anchor for a new dating system.

Guardians of the Galaxy might be the best movie I've ever seen. I mean, it obviously didn't have Daniel Day-Lewis acting, or a lot of other specific, masterful things, but it was just so much fun. And yes, you called it that, but you called it "such a fun time", I'm calling it "better than Star Wars (I think, have…

Screw the $100 million. They went out there and made the best movie of all time. They took a huge leap, and my god, did it ever pay off (then again, I suppose making Star Wars back in the day was a pretty big risk too).

To be fair, The Mandarin was really more of a misdirect or red herring than it was a twist...

I will be inclined to agree with you on the capitalization and such. And I will certainly (and perhaps obviously) agree with you that communication requires effort. However, I think you've met the required amount of effort by typing the letters correctly, if iOS takes your correctly typed letters and changes them to…

Ugh, Transformers 4 made that much money? Can we all make sure we go out today to watch the movie and give it a Sunday boost so it can outgross that Transformers crap?

Ah, well then, I hope you'll understand why I kept it going as long as I did.

I don't know, the fact that so many people took me seriously makes me think I didn't go overboard... which is pretty worrisome if you ask me.

But... but... sending the file of a movie over the internet is stealing. We know that. That's a fact. The MPAA has told us so.

So wait. You're saying all these theatres are just stealing movies now? And, what, the studios just don't know? How can they not know! They're transferring files! They're probably even making copies! Stealing! Stealing everywhere! ...I bet they'd even steal my car!

I'm pretty sure the MPAA knows what they're talking about. Transferring movie files from computer to computer or over the internet is stealing!

Extremely a troll post.

But... how do they get the film from the studio to the theatre? Really big DVDs? We all know transferring files over the internet is stealing, so... I'm confused!