The aliens landed in Africa 150,000 years ago.

I really need two monitors...

@jblues: To be fair, most superhero costumes do look that way in comic-form.

@Illundiel: I find his English(?) accent very convincing and believable.

@Illundiel: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you trying to say about the Dyson? I thought that thing had revolutionized cleaning. It runs on a giant ball for fuck's sake!!

Thank god men [apparently] don't get gout.

Oh come on! How is this scamming when Kevin Trudeau can go on TV every night and tell me that coral calcium will cure any ailment... or Ronald McDonald can go on TV any day and tell me that what they sell is food?!

@Turboweevel: I don't return their calls. They forfeited their right to it in 1991, it's mine now!

How 'bout, you know, we pay them more than 80 cents a day? Sure, you might be thinking that the chocolate bars would cost more, but if we lowered the wages of the executives to be more in line with that of their employees, I'm betting it'd even out to be about the same, hell, it might even make chocolate bars…

Is this actually evolution, or just the Vizzini effect?

I went into this article expecting a real life Fringe case... all I can say is thank god, I was getting scared.

@2l33t: Same process McDonald's uses to inject cocaine into its food.

@The_Geek_Greek: "It is just as as bad as morphine if taken in large amounts"? Citation needed.

@sirfa: Do I even need a resume to apply at Google? I feel like they know more about me than I do, and can definitely see through the bullshit that's on my resume (note to potential employees: everything on my resume is truthful, I swear...at least, it's more truthful than the average resume you recieve, and I should…

Whatever, I won a lawsuit (right?), I'm putting that on my resume!

Someone in the comments better have mentioned Equilibrium. Because if not... EQUILIBRIUM!!!!

@Ants_Pai: Well now that just doesn't make sense.

I can't believe some people... This is clearly a time traveler. Think about it. We all know time travel is possible. And since time travel is inevitably going to become possible for us, that means there are time travelers around us all the time. Well, maybe not all the time, but whenever anything that could be…

Well... I think I'm a horrible person.