Seriously, love these entries. All work stops when I notice a new one.

Did you mean unfulfilling? I think you meant to say my life was unfulfilling. But I CAN'T WAIT for your explanation for that. I'm sure it will contain one of your classic witticisms. Probably with swearing and bad punctuation.

Hey it's super fan! This guys takes his sports VERY seriously. It's cute in a sad, pathetic kind of way.

It's like arguing with a child. I'm going to leave you all this space underneath and you just keep going until you've tuckered yourself out.

(yawn)

Your insistence that I have relations with my cousin and cheer for the Packers gives lie to your attempt at explaining your tantrum. Go away now little boy, the adults are speaking.

I think you need help on your reading comprehension. Christ you're dumb.

Minneapolis Lakers. Wisconsin is already better in all sports competitions than us, they don't get our shitty stolen heritage too.

oh, she mentioned the bisque...

"Barring some kind of chaotic turnover..."

Don't forget about Basement Brewster, who almost single handly destroyed the University of Minnesota football program (which wasn't great admittedly, but wasn't rancid cow shit either, which is what he turned them in to) with his alarming lack of coaching ability and propensity towards saying some obnoxiously stupid…

Superman is the worst fucking superhero ever created. The only thing that can stop him is an element that is supposedly incredibly rare but that EVERY villain seems to have. He blows.

I smell plagiarism.

"This out-the-door bashing is a little tiring."

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.

it was late, I was tired, and hillbilly seemed appropriate at the time...which you're right, is an odd descriptor for those two. I'd like to edit that to "useless pustules".

The fucking hillbilly announcers don't even announce that there is a player seriously injured until the jump to him on the cart. Why? Because there was an INTERCEPTION by a tough, gritty player...blah blah blah. Fuck those two, hard..

six inches? Show off.

I...don't understand. Is Magic Johnson the black people representative to middle aged whites? Does Danny Ferry get some sort of certificate now? Was Luol Deng busy?

Here's my failed list of puns for this article: