You'll never get that. Period. You'll never get to show up to work wearing a loincloth. You'll never get to go shopping without a shirt or shoes.

I got a job as a hostess at a local restaurant in college. My roommate was a bartender there, and one night I had gone up there to visit her. I guess the manager took a liking to me, because I had mentioned to my roommate that I needed to get a job and when she mentioned it around the manager, he apparently jumped at…

Is it trolling? Or is it addressing an issue that (finally) has received the national attention that it warrants?

MY mother's line was "Enough." And I admit that as an adult, when I use it, it feels like the all-powerful final word. It is unbeatable.

you will learn your go-to mom line when your children start repeating it back to you. Apparently my go to line is "Relax." (Sort of hilarious when my toddler says it to me...)

You don't have to hide behind a burner, Laurence Olivier.

I was not yet 13, not yet done with 7th grade, so... probably in a goth phase and arguing with my mother.

Yes. But, not just to spend it. But, because in some cases there really is a difference in quality.

Though I hate that they're mean-spirited, I have always secretly loved the Khloe paternity rumors because it so perfectly supports my parallel narrative between her and Gertrudis from Like Water for Chocolate.

I can not believe you forgot Glen Coco. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

That may not be the entertainment we need, but it is the entertainment we deserve.

One thing I wish I had known before our wedding: the easy part is figuring out what you're going to do, and doing it. The hard part is trying to get everyone else to do what they're supposed to do, and show up for it. No one pays attention to anything these days. You can send out a step by step email to people…

My wedding is in two days. My advice is this: If you and your future spouse aren't really into weddings, then DON'T HAVE ONE. Planning a wedding is expensive, time consuming, and stressful. If you both don't think you really want one, and think eloping is more your speed, JUST DO IT. Don't let family members guilt…

Who peed in your cereal?

You can 100% fuck off with this article. If you don't want to pay $600 for a flight/hotel, do not come to the wedding. It is that simple. We had many family members across the country who could not swing plane fare for our wedding, and although they were dearly missed we absolutely understood. I was very grateful and…

If you don't want to go, DON'T GO. What's worse: inviting someone to celebrate an important event with you, spending thousands of dollars to throw a nice party for everyone who comes? Or being bitter and snarky because someone inconveniently invited you to attend?

Maybe this works for some couples, but if the guy didn't seem interested or enthusiastic about the wedding, I'd wonder why I was bothering to marry him.

Don't balk at paying the musicians for the ceremony what they ask for. Compared to what you are spending on the flowers and the reception, it's a drop in the bucket. Besides, nobody will remember the flowers, but they will remember the music.

Awwww! Is she a knitter? My cat crochets - well, she tries to help, she hasn't quite grasped "leave the damn yarn alone" yet.