If he going to kill people using Social Security? There needs to be an alert warning people that their benefits are socialist! It’s not fair to lead innocent Americans into a trap of socialism that Sanders and his ilk just recently invented.

I like my husband being next to me in bed. Yeah, sometimes he snores. We have the luxury of a second bedroom and when it’s bad and I start kicking him in the ribs, he graciously slinks off so I can sleep. 96% of the time, it’s a pleasant arrangement.

Hugh Hefner, is that you?

At my local REIs, I’ve never actually been asked (not once) about a membership on the actual sales floor, so I have to wonder if that’s a rule. At the register, though? Hard sell.

Her father has said today that the services that she had access to were being cut quite a bit over the past year and she was facing new cuts, recently. He also described Helious as being incredibly panicked without her in the room at any time.

If done properly, the children will be Jewish.

I’m sorry but your comment has way too much sense and truth.

Dear Diary: This is day 2 of me understanding Yoko’s tweets. I’m currently arranging to leave my entire estate to a collection of hats and balancing on an egg.

Gary Shandling will be playing him in the Lifetime Movie once it turns out he has bodies in the basement.

Same hair color though, so it seems slightly lateral.

Maybe if you’d said it in a way that wasn’t overreaching and hostile, you’d have gotten the thoughtful replies you were looking forward to?

I meant do the pores have gills. Of course THEY have gills.

Paden’s adult son, Anthony, has also been charged with sodomizing the victim.

Well, shit. Yoko’s tweet finally made sense to me and I’m really worried, now.

Depends. On whether or not they have gills.

It’s got the makings of a beautiful metaphor, doesn’t it?

Oh, oh oh.... gotcha. I read it differently!

I would tell you what you did....but I don’t want to spoil it.

When you post a bowl of your fruity pebbles to thousands of people, it isn’t unreasonable for someone to comment that dyes aren’t really healthy for the baby.

I respectfully disagree that it’s a rarity to encounter problems.