W ho Fires A Dog?

My DJ name is Kermit Kurosawa just for that reason.

$20 million is a lot to pay for a skin tag.

Skin Tags don't cost $20 million, Tom. If anything it'd probably be no more than a few hundred to get those little bastards off Kirk's neck.

The biggest scam is that thing on Ilitch's head.

Reading it like you're singing along with Jane's Addiction's "Jane Says" makes it slightly... well it's still kind of sad.

It's like how the Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby doesn't have the same beat as "Under Pressure." His version doesn't have that extra beat.

Talk about some wild stuff, Angie.

Someone needs to go on ESPN to say awful things about Mitch Albom’s hair.

Psht. I can hold my load for, like, almost two hours and I’m broke as shit.

Will someone just tell the Heenes to stop doing this shit to their kids?

The jokes would be a lot better if he had been smoking quack.

THATSAGOODDAWG.

Sure it's not the smell of his own farts?

Go figure. Dude sounded like he was reading someone else’s words when providing color commentary on BattleBots.

Welp, those socks just secured my vote.

We sure this isn't Johnny Football?

SNOKE IS ARCH HALL, JUNIOR!

Premium Diabetes.

After a long night of drinking, my college roommate was channel surfing and came acrossed Caillou, and immediately asked if he had leukemia.