This is Zoolander-level turtleneck action.

Well, my last job was as a financial publisher in New York, and I was throwing a party at my apartment when I met this beautiful woman. She said she was a lawyer, and that she was going to meet with a client about some financial agreements down in Atlantic City the next day. I volunteered my services to assist (with…

Last night I had a dream that I was sitting in my home, watching the Super Bowl. The Lions were winning at halftime, 28 – 3, over the Jacksonville Jaguars (this is how I knew I was dreaming). The halftime show began, with a flurry of balloons falling from the rafters, obscuring the view for those at home, not sure who…

In Northern Michigan it’s pretty much anyone who vacations there in the summertime, and its usally at some comically large log cabin they rent out or some fancy-pants resort on the lake. During the winter it’s pretty much just Bob Seger, but odds are he won’t be inviting you to his house because he’s not keen on…

Thank you for making my day.

"T.V. God, I want porno bloopers!"

"Cast off this taint, and become taintless!"

I can’t read your comments without hearing it in Stormy’s voice.

Disappointed in the loss of potentially trolling chants if they were the Roughriders.

The “U Need Dick” Roughriders.

The outcome would have been a lot different if Dalton was at home at the Double Deuce.

Worked well for Senator Bluto.

I don't deserve any food, period. Because I'm fat.

At my last job, I had one day where I had five free meals. It happened the fates aligned just so:

Journey or Foreigner?

...said Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) is “weak like a baby.”

Val Buena and Ben Zema sound like some great aliases for strip clubs and selling used cars.

So... black folks, brown folks, tan folks, Jewish folks, folks with tits, LBGT folks, windmills and land he could never buy.

Sounds like the beginning of a James Taylor song.

When asked about what advice he'd give to Ms. Holder, Mr. Maister stated that she should "Take... these broken wings... and learn to fly again. Learn to live so free."

Back in high school, Samer probably was probably a huge Smackhead.

As an actual lumberjack (no, really – I’ve been falling trees for commercial and residential firewood and related firewood products since 1995), I agree with most of your list. As a man who has worn over 20 applications of flannel shirts since the year 2010, I do have some corrections: