They could always talk to someone else. Eli's free.

Roll a D20 to determine your base, and add modifiers.

It's like "Where's Waldo?" but not!

Is there one with a snowman wearing Sanchez's jersey with a big pair of snowman feet?

Now THAT's a Michigan Man.

13. Twelve drummer drumming

"It's just something Mr. Coach Chuck Pagano Man wanted me to do."

Puppets are stupid in general. And creepy.

"Hey Gypsy, what's your favorite Slayer song?"

Emmitt's words of wisdom really made me smile.

Frisbee doggie is a good doggie.

And no one told him after fucking up his foot that Help is on the Way.

Go home Mike, you're drunk.

This dude's the coolest.

I once saw Mike Ditka in "Kicking and Screaming."

Fox 2 is the best big city/local news I've ever seen. They had a reporter (Charlie LeDuff - a great specials feature guy who is also a huge drunk) cover Ferguson, and they fed in live footage of a broken window at Ferguson of a sex toy store - a good twenty second shot at a whole wall of dildos.

Come on down to Stiggs! Located kitty corner to where the Tigers used to play in a slowly yet surely gentrifying area of Detroit, we'll be happy to serve you all sorts of commercial draft beers, mid-shelf liquors, and whatever kegs we can smuggle in from out of state brewhouses to skirt Michigan's goofy ass…

Joygazm the Cat and GMO the Plant.

Dear internet - please mash this up with Usher's "Yeah."

Not the most intimidating corpse paint out there, but "A" for effort.