She's on track to vault up to Lane Kiffin's level of success. Shot put!

Perfect.

Every series win by our boys leaves a thrilling tickle that we can feel in the back of our throats, inching deeper and deeper, series by series, until the alabaster dream of a World Series pulses, shooting down into our core. That warm, milky sweet feeling building in our bellies growing ever present, radiating from…

Could you please dive into sub-genre rankings next? Or better yet, please just stop?

"I am an Asshole."

Drew, here's a site where you could passive-aggressively send someone some animal poop:

El Duo Gay Ambiguamente.

I was wondering why you had a photo of my drug dealing neighbor from college who went by "Gopher," then realized it was Kyle Orton.

I tried to put him on retainer, but he kept saying my money couldn't be deposited into his bank that's made of anti-Semitic trolls because it's "muggle money" or something.

Hey man, Taylor Lewan's draft stock was at stake.

Plus where else besides Michigan could you "serve the curve?"

High-velocity heavy death machine - sounds like a Godsmack song.

"Honey, just because we both have obnoxiously large head sizes doesn't mean we're related."

Would you say his leg Staaled?

Fuck her right in her sushi!

This is a great headline.

"Is that... pepper on top of the Velveeta?"

I dunno, I think this is pretty accessable.

Where are the whites of his eyes?