Though the whole "you can't shush a woman" angle was a bit weird.

What's next? Are they going to ban dancing like the citizens of Elmore City? "NO, WE ARE NOT A PARTY OF INCREASINGLY SENILE AND IRRELEVANT OLD WHITE MEN."

How long until this is a primary ad? Imagine that steely-sounding voice that you know from doing all of those negative ad voiceovers:

My favorite part about his status as a "doctor" is that he totaly isn't. He's board certified by a board he created, along with his family. This man has no business practicing medicine, giving any sort of policy recommendations on the basis of his status as a doctor, or even speaking aloud. Does anyone else remember…

What's the point of going outside to escape the sprinklers? It's Seattle.

If that's illegal, then I'm in trouble, because my dogs attack alligators all the time

Man, the Night Vale Elementary School has really stepped it up.

So she's nine now?

rambo w a woman? would watch.

The kid asks the dispatcher repeatedly for "the rescue." Is that like a common colloquial thing, or just what this dumb kid calls an ambulance? Not to judge. I mean, if I got shot in the dick I'd probably just pass out. He's pretty collected. But hearing him ask for "THE RESCUE! THE RESCUE!" is almost as hilarious as…

I'm not sure we should have expected anything more from the son of Florida Man and Florida Woman. Florida Teen never had a chance.

I used to work for Adobe for a period of time and they take their licenses very, very seriously and performs regular audits on large companies to make sure that the number of licenses purchased matches up with the number of installations. There's almost always a dependency, and usually they'll go and give the company…

I will spare this man when I rule over all as a benevolent cat dictator.

Five free meals. That's kinda of low.

That provision, in and of itself, is the reason any judge will wipe their ass with this bill if it ever became law.

Also, one other fun fact: the proposed laws state that any judge who overturns them will be removed and that the plaintiffs will have to pay for all court costs and labor fees for both sides.

I just can't understand a Christian whose knowledge and view of their religion is so off-kilter that they think it was OK for Jesus to invite a prostitute to have dinner with him but that it is NOT OK for you to even sell a gay person a fucking cake.

Note how she didn't say "Islamism" or "the Jihad" or even "radical nut jobs who masquerade as religious crusaders when they are actually just rotten pieces of shit." No, she said "Islam." As in, any Muslim period is a threat to America.

I think people like her are just sociopaths. Even if religion wasn't a thing- they'd find some justification to be horrible to the scapegoat of their choice.

No, this is not 'peak Florida'. Not by a long shot. This is more 'Florida woke up for the day and had bad gas in the bathroom right before you got to use it'.