all-you-can-eat shrimp s SUCH a mixed blessing

Oh come on, lighten up! We cook all the time IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND ALL THAT. But to your last point, the Red Lobster is the obvious superior restaurant because it is the best restaurant ever in the history of all time. LOBSTER BIB, Y'ALL. CHEESE BISCUITS TILL YOUR HEART EXPLODES.

I would rather eat my own waste.

Hello, this happened in Scotland! He's not romantic, he's just cheap!

"So here's a dude that will casually put all boyfriends and husbands and life partners, real or imaginary, to shame."

Alternate titles include:

But he didn't go to Jared!

Maybe I'm just a total downer, but I feel like a lot of people who get obsessed with massively elaborate engagement or wedding plans are actually more excited by that than the actual engagement or marriage itself. Whomp whomp.

Oh my god, please someone let shock jock dudebro morning shows die a slow terrible death already, please GOD.

Damn, girl! GET MONEY!

We don't have a law requiring consent. We have one that says it's rape/sexual assault if s/he said no. That presumes that consent is the default.

I don't live in California, but thanks for the concern.

Have you ever seen such a punchable face? Ugh. The smirk, too.

Seems relevant....

I didn't read the bill, are they going to teach this in HS health/sex ed? Because that would be fantastic to add it to the curriculum.

It's dismaying how many men I have seen around the internet that view this bill as "man-bashing, feminist bs". Iceland is looking better each day.

As long as "Ugh, I guess. Just try not to sweat on me too much." counts as affirmative consent, I am fully behind this bill.

Suddenly "flim flam" in Ole Miss's "Hotty Toddy" makes way more sense.

Authorities learn she works for Goldman Sachs, apologize, give her 15% bonus, too.

"it doesn't matter if it's $94 or $94 million..." Really? Doesn't it just a little? Note to self: do not fall for offer to pick up refund check at bodega down the street.