I’ve been looking at her this whole time like... Wow lady you are a tool for the corporation of Republicans that use dummies like her to make their cause seem all folksy and Amurican, but really is just about monies. She has no idea she’s a walking combination billboard/punch line, but she’ll let them keep trotting…

My birth mom has your uncle in law beat by 2 marriages, and I’ll raise you two abandoned children by two diffetent men to boot. Oh Christians, so much love to give.

That doesn’t count, those people had vaginas. Don’t you know women love making up rape charges against men? It’s like the modern day Tupperware party. It’s not until one single man says yes I/he raped that female, that anything sticks.

He might not be rich, but the white guy part gives him plenty more privileges than a lot of other people.

#teamschnauzer

Off topic, but every time I think about Benedict Cumberbatch and the upcoming Dr. Strange movie, I get warm feelings in my lady parts.

It definitely has nothing to do with genetics. Don’t let the scientists fool you, they’re just bell boys for Satan.

Holy fucking HASHTAGS. I hate that shit. Especially, when it’s a media format that is supposed to be about pictures, not a hashtagging novel.

I have taken money from my 5 yo’ss pinky pie piggy bank. Quarters are suspiciously hard to find in my home... And do I feel very very guilty? NoNot particularly, since I think she’s the one hoarding them. Lol.. But I know it’ll have to end when she’s actually keeping track of that crap. Damn you, age + knowledge!

I have a $1 off a box of franzia coupon!

I hate cleaning toilets and dishes. We all have our kryptonite. I, personly, can’t wait for school vacation so I don’t have to deal with the bus stop crap. I’m not a morning person at all, nor am I an afternoon person when the temps are 111°+.

And that’s when you let the hunger pangs outweigh their hatred for what you’ve made and they will succumb! They will always succumb! Mwhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Those are, even to this day, my most favorite guilty pleasure. When I was littlelittle, my Granny would get me oneone, when she was feeling lovey dovey. And my local grocery store just started selling a generic version so they’re even cheaper!!! It’s probably the only thing from my depressing childhood I wish to…

How could anyone want to destroy these with their mandible!!!! So cute!!! Squeeeeeeee!!!!

No joke. My kid (and the other one when he’s old enough) eats breakfast and lunch for free at school and it’s a serious lifesaver. Not only does it mean I have a little more grocery money at the end of the monthmonth to maybe use on a movie rental for family night, but I don’t have to worry about her being hungry at…

Yeah, your dad sounds like a real piece of shit. and how dare the school even allow you to bring that garbage through the doors?! Don’t they have lunchable detectors at the door like a normal school? Where are you from, fucking Haiti?!

Yeah there’s a deli inside a conaco station at the end of the next block over and dayummmmm their sandwiches are cheaper and of way better quality than a lot of chains. There’s one called the triple t on jalepeno cheese cibatta bread that is sex in my mouthhhhh. I’ve had weeks where, if flush with cash, have eaten it…

Ugghhhh I didn’t know about this. I’ve basically stopped eating at any sort of national chain and this pretty much puts a bug, shitty, cherry on top of that. I try to keep to locally owned businesses, because if they’re a piece of shit, I’ll probably never find out and the money that goes to them gets put back into…

I’m pretty sure, with a big enough financial incentive, more people would be willing to give up their shit than one thinks. Everybody loves money.

They’ve effectively banned felons from voting.