[cums]

In all fairness to the Sixers, no, absolutely not. The Sixers are actually a decent team defensively, they're just one of the all-time worst teams offensively.

The same way a Great Dane and a Chihuahua are both dogs: aliens.

The Sixers were up 15? What the fuck was happening? Did the Thunder forget to put all five guys on the court?

So what you're saying is that AdragnaA21 is actually a hero?

I always love a comment on a Gawker site that is both:

Oh, then that totally changes everything...

The only part I would be a "highlight truther" on is that Roy Hudson needs to go away, but he was only a 3-4 out of 10 on his insufferablity scale for this one.

I don't think it's so much that Philly can be associated with winning games so much as it is that once a team loses 4 Super Bowls in a row, they're going to be associated with losing.

Fine! I'll keep my double-hyphens to myself, you happy? A person just tries to create the perfect amount of pause to a comment and long-time Deadspin commentators just shit all over it! Guess I'll just stick to more convention ways to indicate the amount of pause in a sentence, but I'm not happy about it:

People claim they misread this as "Mario Balotelli" and got too excited, lucky bastards. I read this as Mario Batali and died. So I'm dead now, thanks easily misread headline!

Rven if the worst-case scenario turns out and this Sixers re-brand ends up just being Sam Hinkie cynically fucking the last scraps of faith and good will out of Philadelphia,

I'd argue the only reason Tom Wilson hasn't been suspended yet is an apparent "trying to kill Brayden Schenn doesn't count" rule. I think Schenn must have pissed him off for whatever reason because he's tried to bury him face-first into the boards from behind while charging at least three times now. I'd also argue the…

Bullshit, I highly doubt that Cal Ripken Jr., a player most known for his ability to avoid fatigue during the long grind of the baseball season, could have ever taken steroids, those dangerous Devil drugs that help recovery from working out or playing baseball.

Florio also said the Cowboys were afraid this "incident," if released to the public, would have a "Ray Rice-type of an impact."

Certainly this means a step backward for a team and fanbase grown accustomed to a place in the annual playoff hunt.

It's not, "first ten picks are sure things" but rather, "no one builds a championship team without a top-ten drafted player". I mean, look at the NBA, tell me any team that's won a championship in the past 35 years that did not have a player picked in the top ten.

Huh? You win the Hart Trophy for being the league MVP, just like how in the NBA, you win the Maurice Podoloff Trophy for being the league MVP. MLB's is named after Kenesaw Mountain Landis. It's just the NFL that doesn't name their MVP trophy after anyone.

Well, they also said this:

Wait, we're supposed to hate on Ethan Hawke? But he was in Gattaca, I thought that would just kinda make up for any shitty movies.