I don’t know what it is but the single-pipe, centered exhaust has always made me cringe. Maybe it’s just me.

The college kids that drove these around during my time in college hooned the ever-living shit out of them - but it looks better than I would have expected it to look post-can.

If the FoRS is God, does that make the FiST ... Hatchback Jesus?

I’d be one of the 17 people in line for a Crosstrek STI.

This state is full of crazy people. Yes, I’m a resident.

This might as well be like lighting a stack of books or a pile of paintings or any other piece of artwork on fire, as far as I’m concerned. If you don’t want it here, treat it like all the other immigrants you don’t want - send it back to its motherland. Don’t destroy it. Makes me cringe.

So now instead of blocking 1 lane it’s blocking both? Nice.

There are plenty of tight-parking circumstances that don’t involve just another car

Is it weird that the only thing I don’t like about this is the fact you can’t easily see when he’s braking? If you want to scrape your ass around town, go right ahead - but prepare that anus for repairs and possible medical bills when someone runs over the back end of your beater.

Might be worth mentioning the difference between a Roth and traditional 401(k), too.

This is another shitty move I’ve made that I’m not always vocal about, but I’ll share since it’s relevant. I’ve had friends order vehicles with very, very specific boxes checked at dealers, but with no intention of actually buying them, so another one of us can come in and buy it once it’s there but not get as reamed…

The fact you’re only 24 and having these thoughts - you’re probably ahead of the crowd in terms of self-awareness. Don’t worry too much, you’ve got plenty of time to develop your career and build financially. You’ll never get too old to hoon.

Unless it’s an Accord hatch/wagon with the V6 and manual. Pre-order that.

If I buy one of these things as my first motorcycle, is it going to kill me?

You would absolutely think so - let’s hope that’s actually the case.

Great piece - you’re a Jalopnik hallmark.

I had a dealer try to keep my keys after appraising a trade-in on a vehicle I was looking at that I had not purchased. I’m like, is this really happening in the 21st century? Do I really need to threaten to jump over your sales desk to retrieve the keys to MY CAR?

This will certainly solve my issues with grating cheese while on a track day.

I kinda just want a Raptor and a 4C - does that make me too simple?

I use it for calling, navigation (if I know the address) and to play a specific album in my iTunes. Surprisingly, those functions work very well on the SYNC in the FiST. Why it does those things well and doesn’t do some of the more mundane things consistently well, I don’t know ...