The onion-cutting ninjas are at it again.

This is both Heart Warming and Heart Wrenching to read.

“Fuck turkey. Fuck romo. Fuck thanksgiving”

This kind of sensationalist nonsense isn’t why I come to Deadspin.

“We got money, you broke-ass nigga. We got money.”

You think if they took all their money and combined it as a group they could buy a win?

no one gives a s**t until someone gives a s**t

And to you. In fact I’ve got a few blankets that I’d love to give Dan Snyder.

Remorse and anger are the closest kin.

The movie filmed in Berlin, so—barring the invention of a fake country—that’s probably where they are

Mirror’s Edge 2 starring Bucky Barnes

I don’t have a desire to see the film, but that first poster, with the whale’s eye, is fantastic.

Oh, they know what whales look like, trust me.

Does a Deathclaw shit in a quarry?

In other news, the Rams are allowing Bailey a leave of absence so he can cross the length and breadth of the Mojave to hunt down his would-be killer on the 13th floor of a Vegas casino.

You keep using Charlotte as your reference point. They’re not a good model to follow. Nobody loves Michael Jordan the executive. But I’m sure that makes for a convenient out for you instead of taking a sober look at your roster and your management and your attendance and saying, “Huh, this is really embarrassing. Do I…

Wanna know how bad it’s gotten?

I know it won’t happen, but the Philadelphia 6-76ers would be the among the greatest accomplishments in the history of the sport.

That’s because you were raised to be a wimp. The first time I was mini-nuked, I was only 8 years old. When dad says to take out the trash, you damn well better take out the trash.