"Rapunzel, Rapunzel please let down your hair."

You know that Jesus is rolling his eyes and saying 'Bitch, please. They were right.'

The missed opportunity is that Kate McKinnon wasn't mocking the Carrie Underwood acting at all. She was just doing the standard comedic overacting. It would have been better if there was actual satire of the NBC special instead of the Kristin Wiig vehicle. Such a waste of a return cameo

The Wiz over The Wizard of Oz?

And she's 35. Which means that I am too old for him. *cries*

I made these turkey cupcakes for some of my friends today. Happy Thanksgiving, Jezzies!

My mom got really drunk one Thanksgiving (not her normal behavior). During dinner she was telling people that her youngest brother was everyone's favorite and it's okay because he's such a good guy. Then she turned to my cousin and said about her sister, "But your mom's such a bitch, isn't she?"

My nephew attended college in Canada—in Ottawa, to be specific. At the first Thanksgiving (or probably Christmas) dinner afterward, a family friend went to ask him if he'd tried the Quebec delicacy of fries, gravy, and cheese curds, but he got the word wrong: "So, have you had any poontang?"

Almost beats the Thanksgiving we had to explain to my mother the meaning of "shot my wad." Several times leading up to that day, she'd used the phrase to mean she was very very tired. I guess we all kept thinking someone else would tell her, and I think she connected it to gambling...which makes sense. But then came…

This isn't really a Thanksgiving horror story, but it is definitely a weird one.

Two years ago, my brother-in-law and his wife were hosting Thanksgiving. My parents-in-law were in town from California. My sister-in-law has a huge family and everyone was coming. It was going to be a full house.

Jesus Christ, why were you discharged????

This actually sounds nice to me. Like a reminder of simpler times when your parents could carry you around and make you feel infinitely better with small gestures.

This is more funny/weird than a horror story.

My first attempt at a Thanksgiving turkey, when I was about 24, ended in a 1am trip to the emergency room and a lumpy second-degree-burn scar on the inside of my left elbow. (The lesser scars on my upper and lower arm - smooth but bright pink - finally faded after about ten years.)

My husband and I are staying in the house that was my Grandparent's home for more than 30 years. It's located in a summer resort town, but my family has always loved thanksgiving here and my grandmother was a fabulous cook. She made everything from scratch and started preparing a solid week in advance. It was her…

I was 8 years old, and prone to chronic migraines, the onset of which were preceded by sensitivity to light, or heightened smell. I woke up feeling tight in the head, another warning sign, but didn't think much of it. As guest arrived and nibbled on snacks I started to feel awful, I could smell the fish in the…

Don't buy ANYTHING in person on Thanksgiving. Give those poor retail workers a fucking day off.

In Canada, we have courses on this sort of thing in school.

Hey, mind the criticism. It might save people's lives, or a hip. Don't expect anything on Lifehacker.com to be dynamite.