“And where there was only one set of paw prints in the sand, that’s when the god bear was carrying you...”

That was kind of fucked up of god to send him a miracle magical bear friend instead of just helping him not get lost in the woods for three days in the first place...

*Hamberdler (sorry)

You see this?  This is how you do Kinja, folks; this is what you’re supposed to do with Kinja. Take heed.

It is beyond me why the media keeps presenting this small child’s story as some kind of fact. A kid got lost in the woods and made up a story. Welcome to being three years old, folks.

It’s pretty obvious what happened.  There was no bear.  It was Bigfoot.

Might wanna actually read the article dude.

THE SIGN SAYS 55, SO I’M DRIVING 55, JUST LIKE THE SEMI TRUCK NEXT TO ME IN THE RIGHT LANE.

A few weeks back I passed a tractor trailer in Florida that had large letters on the back saying “If I just passed you on the right you are an asshole.” It’d be cool if he passed this guy.

The worst part is that you know this person hangs out in the passing lane, despite that fact that it’s just as much against the law as speeding...

I’m a girl, so all my life I have been told that my clothing sends messages to other people. If I wear a skirt that is a little too short or a shirt that shows a little too much cleavage, I am apparently communicating that I consent to being groped or worse.

They know exactly what it means, and they attempt to gaslight everyone (because they are stupid enough to think it works).

But can it tow a Lego 747?

A couple of weeks ago, I was in Denver, waiting to hop on the train heading to California. Standing behind me in line was this middle-aged mom, whose son gave her a big hug and told her to have a safe trip, before leaving the line and heading (I presume) to his home. She fought back a few tears as he walked off, so I…

None of that deters Gannon. He has mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards trying to solve these cases. The only thing that stopped him, and it was only for 18 months, was a bout with cancer in 2004.

It’s not a matter of affecting NFL revenue — those tickets are already-sold and non-refundable — but it’ll do some combination of a) be a sunk cost for people who hate to lose money, b) affect Delta and the US’ #1 airport significantly, c) affect the insurance industry if those same rich people got Trip Insurance…

“It’s not high treason, it’s alternative loyalty.”

I mean, seriously though, if the shutdown continues to the end of January, you know what ends this ridiculous shutdown the fastest?

“The head of the organization was not involved in this illegal activity, only everyone beneath him, all of whom are under his direct oversight.”

The original article doesn’t say. Given that it talks about booking flights from the US, one would assume it’s an American timezone, but even the 3-hour difference between EST and PST could lose out on the savings that only appear in a quick dip around 5am.