“off-brand Hello Kitty mini-bong“ 

Sadly, I’d feel a lot more optimistic if she were the vice-president over mommy’s dead-eyed little Christian soldier.  

Next up, Big Brother Alaska offers Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski and Bill Cosby an all expenses paid stay at the fishing hut.

I, for one, celebrate another milestone in the downward spiral of an odious person who could have been a heart-beat away from the most powerful (at the time) position on Earth.

“If you or a loved one displays signs of CoViD-19, such as fever, coughing, achiness, or excessive mascara, you should contact a local medical facility or stylist for further instructions.”

But from a scientific perspective, Levi could serve as a control. A “semi-decent human being” benchmark or something. 

“STOCK HIGHS MATTER!!!”

For some reason, your mention of “perfect manicure” in your description of Warren’s campaign center seemed like some sort of dog whistle.  Does “perfect manicure” == “white suburban boomer”?

She’s “Hollywood diseased”. Take off the blanket and drop the thermometer and she’s ready for a night on the town, without further grooming.

Wasn’t one of the original, high-minded purposes of Twitter to widely and rapidly disseminate critical information in emergencies? 

Oh man, that’s even better!  Hell, I would have taken the offspring of a Ramen noodle scion.

Oh man, any kid of a Hot Pockets heiress should get accepted to any school in America just on the promise of unlimited Hot Pockets for all present and future roommates!

Ahahahahaha! Like Idaho would let any Muslims within the state borders.

Here’s my genius idea for this afternoon. What about an app that forces influencers to competitively bid for followers? Then you could say “gee, I dunno Selena, the Kardashians have reached out with a free anal bleaching kit for my one engagement per week. What do you got?”

We need a freakin’ pit bull to run against Trump. The Democratic debates are a training ground for the actual election, and Warren is definitely demonstrating that she is down to scrap, she will go there, and she has receipts to back herself up. I worry how she will respond to a ruthless and superficial “Pochahontas”…

I would rather watch the butter churning contest than watch these incredibly talented women contort themselves to achieve this years feminine ideal.

I thought Larry Klansman was Zimmerman’s Klan Mime persona.

Oh that’s right. The “good people” that are on both sides.

Bad hombres.  I think that’s the phrase Trump uses.

Or maybe “Housedumpers” - following the newly divorced who can’t individually afford to hit the mortgage payments, and are therefore highly motivated to sell.