I wish I would have taken more any pics of my breasts before I had a kid and they became saggy funbags. Perky tits are the best. Rock on with the pasties Miley. It will go downhill at some point.

Everyone hating on Kanye should go listen to Late Registration and get back to me.

Our children were created for friendship with Christ. Before anything else, this is their chief purpose in life: to be Christ’s friend.

“You really look like a woman now” strikes me as the rare sort of sentence that could never not be creepy.

I wonder if those are her friends or cousins. They all look alike. Same face shape and then the eyebrow game between those two.

Why would she love white people when you’re one of them?

Well, considering she’s half Danish, I think she probably likes her dad’s family’s hair.

I saw one once (circa 2004), where the baby was literally the guy’s twin. Maury was like, “you had unprotected sex with the mother 9 months before the baby was born. How are you so sure you’re not the father?”

This actually happens a lot on Maury. The husband turns out to actually be the father about half the time.

THAT. IS. TREMENDOUS. It’s like a cross between a miss america essay question answer and a monologue from Mean Girls

They didn’t know! It wasn’t on social media yet, so they didn’t know!

“At this time in our lives, racism was not the talk of the country....”

“...twitter was still fresh and we had never heard of anyone getting in trouble for posting anything on social media...”

Oh, they’re not so very racist.

No but I’ve seen a lot of people who look alike:

What I wouldn’t do to be Rihanna’s fallback fuck.

Wait, you want to replace the brawling, slave-owning, murderous rage addict that was responsible for the Trail of Tears with...dare I say it...a woman?

Jackson was against paper currency and oversaw some of the worst atrocities committed in the Native American genocide. Mankiller led a badass life despite crippling policies toward Native Americans still in place from the Jacksonian era and became the first female Cherokee leader. I want to see her face and more faces…

During a recent transaction, an elderly woman handed me a twenty and said, with eyes a’twinklin’ “Did you hear they might put a woman on the 20 dollar bill? I’d love to see that before I go...” And then we both melted into a puddle of feelings.

Is there a safe space for anyone who is not turned off by Shia LaBeouf’s mohawk/rattail braid? [E Online!]