A truly useful application of this would be to assess fees to companies with whom you do business for hold times, missed appointments, defective equipment, etc...

#1. If there’s no curling, no one gives a shit.

How dare that motherfucker act like he’s incredibly good at his job. What an asshole. Tell me, friend, do you at least think that he posed for GQ the right way (TM)?

Seriously. This kid is awesome.

I disagree:

Connect 4 and now Scrabble? That’s really great and all, but the White Sox did turn their second triple play of the season last night. Damn.

As a fan of this godforsaken shitshow of a team: I’m fucking done.

Fuck that.

Unsolicited Ugly Wang: New band name. I call it.

David Brock? Is that you?

Right, I should have made that more clear:

Has anyone ever been into someone, then received their dick pick and had a change of heart?

Curt Schilling? Is that you?

Does anyone actually listen to this? Also, these sales pitches for your BS podcast should have “PODCAST” in the title so I don’t see it and think “I’ll read another article by this jerkoff,” and instead get an eyeful of another reason to hate all of you.

Right, the paper mill. I had forgotten about that. There’s some killer ice cream just north of TH on 63 (I think?). I don’t remember the name, but I remember the peanut butter ice cream was scrumptious.

Why does Terre Haute smell bad? It just smells. Bad.

Zangief is Barry Petchesky’s father.

Because it’s a thing. Would you defend this person? I’m not asking if you were a public defender and were obligated to defend this person, would you do it. I’m asking if you could choose which clients you would take, would you take this person on?

Or the mayo-laden potato salad that has sat out in the sun all day. You know how it develops that skin after a while? Like pudding skin, only with more bacteria.

Well said.